Why do we fall in love?

The initial happy feelings of being in love is stimulated by 3 chemicals in the brain: noradrenaline that stimulates adrenaline production causing that racing heart and sweaty palms; dopamine, the feel-good chemical; and phenylethylamine that is released when we're near our crush, giving us butterflies in our tummies.

mountelizabeth.com.sg - The Science Behind Why We Fall in Love: Stages of Love | Health Plus

Can you feel your best friends pain?

Sympathy pain is a term that refers to feeling physical or psychological symptoms from witnessing someone else's discomfort. Such feelings are most...

Last updated Apr 9, 2020

Why are first loves so important?

Multiple studies have confirmed our brains experience something very much like an addiction when we're in love. The first time may be the most...

Last updated Jul 17, 2019

Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

Promotion

Last updated on 3 September 2020

We talk about the moment of falling in love as if we have been hit by Cupid’s arrow – it is intense, overwhelming, sometimes fast and can feel like fate. As time passes, this initial bust of feeling often fades into a comfortable closeness. The initial happy feelings of being in love is stimulated by 3 chemicals in the brain: noradrenaline that stimulates adrenaline production causing that racing heart and sweaty palms; dopamine, the feel-good chemical; and phenylethylamine that is released when we’re near our crush, giving us butterflies in our tummies.

But is there a biological reason behind these feelings? And why do you fall in love with that one person you do?

There are 3 distinct phases of falling in love. The first, lust, is driven by the levels of testosterone (men) and oestrogen (women) in our bodies. The second, attraction, is similar in feeling to the addictive rush from certain drugs or alcohol. The final phase is attachment, which is when you may begin to feel closely bonded and start making long-term plans together.

The 3 stages of love

According to Dr Helen Fisher, a renowned anthropologist, there are 3 distinct phases of falling in love. Stage 1: Lust is driven by the levels of testosterone (men) and oestrogen (women) in our bodies. This isn’t so different from other mammals on the planet. Stage 2: Attraction is similar in feeling to the effect of certain drugs or alcohol. The emotion of euphoria, and the release of a jumble of chemicals in the brain, including dopamine (pleasure), adrenaline (fight or flight) and norepinephrine (alertness), can make falling in love feel like an addictive rush. Adrenaline, in particular, is the reason your cheeks feel flushed, your palms feel sweaty and your heart races when you meet someone you like for the first time. Stage 3: Attachment sees the release of dopamine and norepinephrine replaced with oxytocin (the ‘cuddle’ hormone), which is when you may begin to feel closely bonded and start making long-term plans together. While the 3 phases of love might seem straightforward, there are several other factors that affect who you end up falling in love with. Many of us say we have a ‘type’, but is that true? Here are 4 scientific reasons why you might fall in love with someone!

Their smell

What to do when someone you love dies suddenly?

How to Cope With the Sudden Loss of a Loved One Understand That This Will Be An Emotional Time. ... Spend Time Talking With Others. ... Accept Help...

Last updated Apr 2, 2022

What signs do well together?

Here is a list of the 7 most compatible astrological signs. Taurus and Cancer. First up we have Taurus and Cancer. ... Gemini and Aquarius. ... Leo...

Last updated Mar 22, 2022

Promotion

If you’re female, this can be closely linked to the health of your potential children. In one study, female participants were asked to rate the smell of several T-shirts, slept in by various men. Overall, the women preferred the scents of men who had disease-resistance genes profiles that would complement their own. This suggests we subconsciously look for a partner that will help us to produce strong, healthy babies, resistant to as many diseases as possible. Who knew?

How similar they are to you

Your nose may be sniffing for a different gene profile, but that doesn’t stop us being attracted to like-minded people. One study of 1,523 couples, which analysed the similarity of individual personality traits, found that happy couples’ personalities synced up 86% of the time. And it’s not just personality traits – you’re also likely to be attracted to someone who has similar values and beliefs to you. In another study of 1,500 pairs, every single couple held similar life views, including the ones who had only just met.

Their appearance

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder – but there are still several ways in which appearance has a subconscious impact on whom you are attracted to. For example, having a symmetrical face is generally considered a hallmark of conventional attractiveness. Studies have found that having a symmetrical face implies the presence of ‘good’ genes, while an overly lopsided face may imply poor health, alcohol abuse or smoking. Meanwhile, in men, having a longer ring finger in comparison to the index finger is an indicator of more testosterone, and therefore a higher sperm count, increased fertility, a healthier heart and better genes. However, overcoming all of that is your own life experiences, which is why your preference and taste in appearance is very much unique to you! A study has found that who we find attractive is most strongly influenced by our life experiences, such as the kind of faces you are exposed to and the relationships you form. For example, having a positive relationship with someone may have you subconsciously pairing their facial characteristics with positive information. Subsequently, people who look similar to them become more attractive to you as well. Research also suggests that familiarity and exposure to certain faces increases their attractiveness. That means you may prefer faces that are similar to those you’re more familiar with, and tend to judge a face that is very different from faces you’ve previously seen as less attractive.

Their BMI (body mass index)

What is the best relationship quote?

The 34 Best Inspirational Relationship Quotes When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are ~ Donald Miller. A...

Last updated Nov 3, 2018

What are the five zodiac signs that can fight?

To know more about where you stand in terms of anger, fights and arguments, you should take a closer look at what astral element, your sign falls...

Last updated Oct 12, 2021

Promotion

Traditionally, a waist-hip ratio of 7:10 has been held up as the ideal for feminine attractiveness, while women look for a man with a waist-to-hip ratio of 9:10. But according to one study, it’s more important to have a healthy BMI. Apparently, men find women with a BMI of 18 – 20 most attractive, as it indicates both good health and fertility. Meanwhile, women are subconsciously looking for a man with body fat of around 12% – probably because too high body fat is associated with a range of negative health implications, including heart disease, diabetes and reduced fertility.

Article reviewed by Dr Samuel Low, clinical director at Parkway Hospitals

References

Chatel, A. (2016, April 13). Why We’re Attracted to People Just Like Us, According to Science. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from https://www.bustle.com/articles/153908-why-were-attracted-to-people-who-are-just-like-us-according-to-science

Chemistry of Love. (n.d.) Retrieved September 3, 2020, from https://asdn.net/asdn/chemistry/chemistry_of_love.php

Furlow, F. B. (2016, June 9). The Smell of Love. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/articles/199603/the-smell-love Gregoire, C. (2015, February 14). The Strange Science of Sexual Attraction. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/14/science-of-attraction-_n_6661522.html Knapton, S. (2016, February 23). Relationships: Opposites Do Not Attract, Scientists Prove. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/12170295/Relationships-opposites-do-not-attract-scientists-prove.html Knapton, S. (2015, April 8). The Science of Sexiness: Why Some People Are Just More Attractive. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/03/12/the-science-of-sexiness-why-some-people-are-just-more-attractive/ Laurance, J. (1998, August 13). Scientists Unlock the Secrets of Women’s Sexual Attractiveness. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scientists-unlock-the-secrets-of-womens-sexual-attractiveness-1171463.html Laws of Attraction: How Do We Select a Life Partner? (2014, December 2). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201412/laws-attraction-how-do-we-select-life-partner Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship - Science in the News. (2017, February 14). Retrieved from http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/ Sifferlin, A. (2015, October 1). Yes, You Really Do Have A ‘Type’, Science Says. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from http://time.com/4057616/yes-you-really-do-have-a-type-science-says/ The 3 Stages of Love and Hormones -. (2015, February 27). Retrieved from http://www.myvitawellness.com/3-stages-love-hormones/ The Chemistry of Love. (2018, February 14) Retrieved September 2, 2020, from https://www.reagent.co.uk/the-chemistry-of-love/#:~:text=The%20initial%20spark%20of%20falling,pleasure%2C%20energy%20and%20focussed%20attention. Tigar, L. (2016, February 12). How Your Body Reacts When You Fall In Love. Retrieved January 9, 2017, from http://edition.cnn.com/2016/02/12/health/your-body-on-love/index.html

mountelizabeth.com.sg - The Science Behind Why We Fall in Love: Stages of Love | Health Plus

Can a 2 year old have a crush?

“Kids even 4 years old can have crushes on each other,” says Radcliffe. “It's just a natural development. First you love your mother and then you...

Last updated Apr 11, 2021

How do I know if I'm ready to date?

Are You Ready to Date Again? You Know What You Want in Your Next Relationship. You're Not Feeling Bitter About Your Ex Anymore. You Feel Excited...

Last updated Nov 22, 2018

Promotion

What makes a guy immediately attractive?

Being a gentleman can attract women. Flowers or chocolates for your date can go a long way and help make you more attractive to them. A man who has...

Last updated Nov 13, 2019

Promotion

What are the odds of meeting your soul mate?

one in 10,000 Given half a billion potential soul mates, your chance of finding your true love is one in 10,000. Monroe speculates on the...

Last updated Mar 21, 2020