Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Zen Chung
A party for young females, it probably originated as a way of introducing the girl to the task of being a hostess, to the acquisition of social skills. “As a social rather than body‐oriented ritual,” Dr. Dukt continued, “it lacks force, taking on instead aspects of cuteness, sweetness.
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Read More »Indeed, the earmarks of adulthood which the 16‐year‐old girl perceives herself as suddenly acquiring have little to do with sexual change. In Westchester, where 16 is the legal age for obtaining a junior driver's license, the first thing that comes to the minds of many 16‐year‐olds is a car. Also important is the increased number of work hours permitted by New York State Labor Law. And preparation for college is another concern. “When I was in high school, drugs were in and Sweet Sixteens were out,” said Jennifer Chaimen, a 24‐year‐old Manhattan resident and a 1971 graduate of Scarsdale High School. “Everyone was in cliques. There were no Sweet Sixteens because that would have been part of the middle‐class status quo everyone was trying to rebel against. If you had a Sweet Sixteen, you'd be quietly but definitely ignored.” Not so now, according to Melanie Kahn, who had a Sweet Sixteen at Brae Burn Country Club in Purchase last January. “In 1976 almost everyone was having them at clubs,” she said. “Mine had a disco theme. As you walked in, a sign lit up saying Melanie's Disco. There were posters of Peter Frampton and Led Zeppelin and lots of blinking lights. On the wall behind the rock ‘n’ roll band there was shiny foil with colored lights. I had a huge cake with a firecracker candle. It really was fun.” Less than a year later, the Westchester Sweet Sixteen scene is already changing. Marla Weston of Harrison, Sharon Roawden of Rye, and Heidi Pokorny of Scarsdale all had their parties at home; they ranged from casual to “dressy but simple.” Nicole Nicolas of Scarsdale reported that the trend was toward “nice clothes, dancing, but at home and not super elaborate.” People like the traditional as. pects. Miss Nicolas said, but “they just don't seem to be going all out as much.” And a more than passing yes.. tigial nod was given to the counterculture by Miss Pokorny, who explained. “You get a bad reputation if your party is too big and elaborate. People think you're spoiled.” Reverse chic apparently runs even deeper in New York City, where the desirability of understatement—even at large affairs—and the issue of peer pressure are repeatedly alluded to. “It is nice to have a Sweet Sixteen,” said Leslie Richmond, “but how it's done is important. I go to Columbia Prep [Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School on Manhattan's Upper West Side] and there are lots of cliques. Everyone is aware of their clique and how they're supposed to act. Kids at my school, for instance, are very conscious of not appearing spoiled or ostentatious.”
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Read More »Twin flame relationships are thought to be the most intense relationships we can have in our lives—but they're not always meant to last. Sometimes, twin flames go through a separation period, and whether the separation ends up being permanent depends on that particular pair.
While the separation may not be permanent, it is virtually always a time to focus on and prioritize your own growth and self-love. Nuñez says it's important for each person to focus on finding themselves and their own happiness—"because oftentimes our happiness is contingent upon being in a relationship or somebody else," she notes, when it shouldn't be. When that work is done, she adds, that's when twin flames can often rekindle because they're ready to approach the relationship in a new and stronger way. But this growth can't be fast-tracked, she adds, and that's when you really have to trust what's meant for you will be. "Know the universe isn't going to steer you wrong, and if you're truly meant to be, you'll go off and find your way back together again," she says. Focus on learning to be OK being by yourself, she suggests. Take yourself out on dates, learn to sit with your emotions, practice shadow work, and don't try to replace what you've lost by rushing into another relationship. Nuñez says this time is about finding your happiness. And remember, we can have platonic soul mates and other important relationships in our lives that also teach us important lessons and help us grow. The separation period is a good time to nourish those relationships, too.
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