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Why are funerals so tiring?

There are physical reasons that cause fatigue when you are grieving. The death sets off a strong stress response in your body which increases steroid production. That, coupled with the magnified feelings of grief, can take a toll on your central nervous system.

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BY: Diane Snyder Cowan

One common characteristic of grief is exhaustion. If you are newly bereaved, you may be feeling more tired than usual. You may feel so tired that you think you may have the flu as the only other time you have experienced this weakened state is when you have been ill. Small tasks may seem monumental and every routine chore becomes a huge job.Grief is hard work and the business surrounding your loved one’s death can also take a toll. Perhaps you sat vigil the final days of your loved one’s life and even if you weren’t sitting vigil, you may have been so pre-occupied that you could not get a decent night’s rest.After the death, there were all of the “things” to do from planning a funeral to getting papers in order. Then perhaps you were surrounded by loving family and friends during calling hours. As wonderful as this is, being receptive and making small talk can be tiresome.There are physical reasons that cause fatigue when you are grieving. The death sets off a strong stress response in your body which increases steroid production. That, coupled with the magnified feelings of grief, can take a toll on your central nervous system.You may be unable to sleep or you may be sleeping all the time. You may fall asleep for a few hours and then wake up or you may wake up very early. The result is that you feel tired down to your very core, down to the marrow of your bones. You may feel like you are walking in mud simply walking into the kitchen. Just thinking about doing simple chores causes weariness.Give yourself time to grieve and work through your feelings. This is a period of adjustment. The extreme fatigue will subside in time. Be kind to yourself. Get rest and sleep.

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What is Microcheating?

Summary. Micro-cheating involves participating in inappropriate intimate connections with others outside your relationship.

There are many reasons people cheat, according to sex therapist Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. "A person may be cheating because they like who they are when they're with their affair partner. They might feel sexier, smarter, more charming, and more alive when they cheat. With their spouse at home, they might feel invisible, dull, boring, or old," she writes at mbg. Zimmerman says this subtler form of cheating often starts by accident. "What begins as a work dinner, a message from an old friend or flame, or a shared workout at the gym can be developed into a flirtation and an intimate affair," she writes. "Many people have these interactions without it turning into cheating. Others, especially those who aren't completely fulfilled in their own relationships, begin to indulge the feelings of validation, attraction, and excitement." Micro-cheating can be caused by a momentary lapse of judgment, but it could also be a sign that the relationship isn't right for you. "Some affairs are what I call 'can openers'—a way to end your partnership even when you didn't know you wanted out," Nelson says. "It's an unconscious way to wake yourself up to the fact that it really is over." All that said, a relationship isn't necessarily over if there's been micro-cheating in the past. "If both people are open to learning about their own contribution to the problems in the [relationship], if they're willing to learn how to take responsibility for themselves, they can actually create a much better relationship than they had before," psychologist Margaret Paul, Ph.D., previously told mbg.

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