Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Brett Jordan
If you keep chasing after or wanting to be with someone who literally just can't be with you, you might be afraid of falling in love and getting hurt. "Attraction to an unavailable partner allows for the thrill of the emotional journey without the threat of real intimacy," Winter explains.
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Read More »Have you ever caught yourself lusting after someone you knew was unavailable? Maybe they're married, just got out of a relationship, or just started seeing someone, but you can't help but picture yourself with them. Well, you're not alone, and there might be a reason you keep falling for people who can't fall back. So, here's what it means if you're always attracted to people who are off limits, because it probably isn't a coincidence. At least, not according to experts. "Certain individuals have an unconscious desire to play at love while remaining safe from the vulnerability of love," Susan Winter, bestselling author and relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. If you keep chasing after or wanting to be with someone who literally just can't be with you, you might be afraid of falling in love and getting hurt. "Attraction to an unavailable partner allows for the thrill of the emotional journey without the threat of real intimacy," Winter explains. "It’s an odd construct that satisfies the need to feel alive and desirous, yet remain safe." That certainly might help explain why you keep falling for people even though you know it won't work out in the end. However, that might not be the only reason you're only going for people who are unavailable. "Being attracted to people that are taken or emotionally unavailable can be due to a combination of nature and nurture," Dr. Benjamin Ritter, founder of Live for Yourself Consulting and The Breakup Supplement, tells Elite Daily. "You may feel that someone that is taken or emotionally unavailable is of higher status, which is a survival trait, because they are already claimed, and aren't showering you with attention." In some ways, wanting someone who you can't have is simply part of what makes you human. It's anthropological, and there's nothing wrong with you if you can relate. However, experts also recommend taking a closer look at what's going on, mentally. "It would be important to explore why you are attracted to people that are off limits, the actual traits, characteristics, and behaviors that attract you, and when the feelings of attraction began," Ritter says. "There could be a very personal connection between your desire, such as earning or winning someone over, or the safety of never being able to have them, that could reveal the foundation of your attraction." It can be hard to fully open up to someone, so it's totally understandable if that's what you're going through. But, if you hope to one day find someone you can start a serious relationship with, then you might want to attempt to switch gears and focus on finding someone who can commit to you fully. "Chasing someone is a waste of your energy," Ritter explains. "Instead, state your intentions, then move on with your life. It's much better to make your feelings known then it is to lie behind a facade of 'let's be friends' or constant adoration." Sure, having short flings (or just admiring from afar) might feel fun and easy, but if the object of your affections is taken or unavailable, look closely within yourself. Try to understand why you keep going after people who can't reciprocate your feelings, and do your best to find someone who can. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to find someone who can make you happy. Accepting that someone in a relationship probably can't do that for you is the first step.
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Read More »According to Dictionary.com, early machines that scanned and recorded test scores couldn't properly detect marks made by hard pencils. While No. 1 -- the softest -- pencils were prone to smudging, the No. 2 pencil was the perfect balance of softness and hardness.
Before your children went back to school, did you spend time picking out folders, notebooks, art boxes, lunch boxes, and maybe a few No. 2 pencils? Have you or your kids ever wondered why No. 2 pencils are always on a teacher’s classroom shopping list, or why they are the only type of pencils allowed on a standardized test? We've compiled the most comprehensive answer for you, courtesy of Mental_Floss and Dictionary.com. Let’s begin by setting straight a common misconception: Pencils do not, in fact, contain lead. The points of pencils are actually made from a mixture of graphite and clay. The ratio of the two determines the hardness of the pencil’s “lead,” and the number identifies that hardness. The higher the number on a pencil, the harder the pencil. According to Dictionary.com, early machines that scanned and recorded test scores couldn’t properly detect marks made by hard pencils. While No. 1 -- the softest -- pencils were prone to smudging, the No. 2 pencil was the perfect balance of softness and hardness. Though new machines are getting better at correctly scanning other types of writing utensils, we suggest sticking with a good ole’ No. 2 pencil until you’re instructed otherwise. Better safe than sorry! Looking for more Never Stop Asking "Why?" questions? Catch up on all of the past "Whys" on the blog!
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