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Who is a toxic BF?

“Toxic relationships are ones in which one party demands sex when their partner isn't interested, and equally toxic is to withhold sex or to be in a sexless relationship—unless that's an arrangement that's what you both consensually want,” says Fleming.

glamour.com - 12 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship with Your S.O. - Glamour

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“Toxic relationships are ones in which one party demands sex when their partner isn’t interested, and equally toxic is to withhold sex or to be in a sexless relationship—unless that’s an arrangement that’s what you both consensually want,” says Fleming. Different libidos in relationships are normal; different levels of respect are not.

6. Your Partner is Distant After an Argument

All couples argue. In fact, it can even help improve your relationship and help you establish better communication skills. “A healthy relationship partner will approach the fight as exactly that: a partner. This person will make every effort to see both sides of the conflict, making an effort to listen to your perspective and share their own experience without hostility. Afterward, they will apologize for their own part in it and offer solutions for how the problem could be avoided in the future,” says Morse. Everyone gets angry sometimes, but when you’re in a healthy relationship, your better half will work hard to improve whatever issue is at hand, and reinforce the fact that they they believe in you as a couple and want to work things out. “Toxic relationship partners are not known for their conflict-resolution skills, as they are generally unable to see their own part in a fight. And since this person has never been at fault for anything in their entire life, they will most likely go back and forth between total denial and apathy, with random bursts of rage,” says Morse. Needless to say, it’s a recipe for making you feel pretty damn crummy about things— especially if your partner uses a fight as an opportunity to refuse to talk to you or as a chance to withhold sex, attention, or affection from you, keeping the control completely in their hands.

7. They Refuse to Take Responsibility

When you fight, is your partner able to admit his part? Or is his only admission that you made him angry? In a healthy relationship, both people can take a step back and see how they contribute to its successes and failures—no one person is to blame. The inability to shoulder responsibility is the mark of an emotionally immature person. “Healthy relationships take responsibility for behavior doing 100 percent of their 50 precent,” says Fleming. “If you are in a healthy relationship, you and your partner take responsibility for your actions. Yes, sometimes we screw up and do things that hurt or disappoint our partner. Healthy relationships are those in which you both can own when you act badly and take effort to repair the connection.”

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Meanwhile, a stubborn reluctance to concede you’re at fault? You should take this kind of sign seriously that things might be off. “A sign of an unhealthy relationship is when your partner never admits [they are] wrong, doesn’t take responsibility for their actions or always needs to have the last word,” says Fleming.

8. Your Partner Keeps Score

Are you or your partner keeping score? Whether you know, for a fact, without a doubt, that this is the sixth time in two months that he's shown up late, or he refuses to forget that time you tossed his favorite pair of pants into the Goodwill pile, the only place a scoreboard belongs is above a sports field. If one of you is keeping score of good deeds or wrongdoings, chances are you're in a toxic relationship.

9. Your S.O. Makes Your Feel Dumb

He makes you feel stupid. A romantic partner should build you up, not tear you down. That person should never make you feel bad about your interests, beliefs, or hobbies. I once asked a boyfriend if he'd join me at a haunted house—and his response was to ask me why I liked such sh—ty things. Let me be the first to surprise you with how that relationship ended: I moved on, and fast.

10. They Threaten to Break Up with You

Someone is constantly threatening to end things. One or both of you live in fear that the smallest argument or crisis will cause the other to leave. For example, rather than saying, "It bothers me when you're late," you say, "I can't be with someone who can't show up on time." People should be able to express negative thoughts and feelings in a way that doesn't cause a commitment crisis.

11. Your Partner Calls You Names

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Name-calling is normal in a healthy relationship. The only names you should call your significant other are those on that person's birth certificate and terms of endearment. If your guy uses words or unflattering terms to unconsciously or purposely hurt you, that's toxic behavior you're better off without. And if you're prone to dropping a "you're being a [insert explicative here]," it might be time to ask yourself why you use that language with someone you care about.

12. Your Partner Goes MIA

If your partner thinks it's okay to disappear post-fight, then ignore you for three days straight and finally come back planning to pick up as if you'd never had a fight, he needs to think again. Ghosting is toxic, even if it's temporary. It establishes a pattern that makes it impossible to feel secure and confident in a relationship.

If You're Experiencing Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship, Don't Ignore Them

Dictionary.com defines "toxic" as "acting as or having the effect of a poison." Being in a toxic relationship is like taking a shot of battery acid every day: The drink itself burns, but the single dose isn't enough to kill you—it's only after weeks or months of this poisonous diet that you realize you've destroyed your stomach lining and your faith in love. In all seriousness, science has shown that being in a toxic relationship can lead to real health problems, from disturbed sleep to an increased risk of heart failure. So avoid the emotional and physical turmoil by identifying a toxic relationship, so you can the heck out of it. If you or someone you know is experiencing violence in a relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. It is open 24 hours a day.

glamour.com - 12 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship with Your S.O. - Glamour

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