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Who invented love languages?

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages". They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

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1992 book by Gary Chapman

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages". They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

Summary [ edit ]

According to Chapman, the five "love languages" are:

Examples are given from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one's own love languages.[2][3] According to Chapman's theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. An example would be: if a husband's love language is acts of service, he may be confused when he does the laundry and his wife does not perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her). She may try to use what she values, words of affirmation, to express her love to him, which he would not value as much as she does. If she understands his love language and mows the lawn for him, he perceives it in his love language as an act of expressing her love for him; likewise, if he tells her he loves her, she values that as an act of love.

Reception [ edit ]

The book sold 8,500 copies in its first year, four times what the publisher expected.[4] The following year it sold 17,000, and two years later, 137,000.[4] It was on the New York Times Best Seller list from 2009 to 2013.[5] A new, revised edition of The Five Love Languages was released on January 1, 2015.[citation needed] A 2006 study by Nicole Egbert and Denise Polk suggests that the Five Love Languages might have some degree of psychometric validity.[6]

Related works [ edit ]

Since 1992, Chapman has written several books related to The Five Love Languages, including The Five Love Languages of Children in 1997[7] and The Five Love Languages for Singles in 2004.[8] In 2011, Chapman co-authored The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace with Dr. Paul White, applying the 5 Love Languages concepts to work-based relationships.[9] There are also special editions of the book, such as The Five Love Languages Military Edition (2013) which Chapman co-authored with Jocelyn Green.[10]

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What love languages are good together?

Quality time and words of affirmation Quality time and physical touch are two love languages that are extremely compatible in terms of showing affection and physical attraction. While one person craves the touch of their significant other, the other partner can have their quality time needs met.

The Love Language Pairings That Work The Best Together

When we give and receive love from our partners, it can appear in different forms. Some of us prefer to be showered with words of affection, while others prefer our significant other to show us their love by helping with daily tasks. No matter your preference, it is beneficial for both partners to know the other's love language. Because if you exchange love in different ways, it's easy to get wires crossed and accidentally leave one partner feeling lonely, unappreciated, or that the relationship is one-sided. According to Gary Chapman, creator of this concept, we tend to speak five love languages: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation (via 5 Love Languages). Knowing your significant other's love language can help you show them affection in their preferred way and understand their needs. This can improve communication and the overall quality of your relationship (via Psych Central). Plus, it provides great inspiration for significant others wanting to spoil their partners. Of course, knowing is only half the battle. Ideally, your love languages will complement each other so that affection can flow freely in your relationship. With that in mind, are there love languages that work better together than others? While any match-up can be successful with a little effort, these may be the love language pairings that gel naturally from the start.

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