Soulmate Gem
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Where do people meet their true love?

It depends on your age but most people still meet their partner offline - and it tends to happen where one spends a lot of time. Young people aged 18 to 24 first spot their crushes at university (18%), school (18%) or with mutual friends (15%).

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Watercooler wooing and flings with friends of friends are the most common ways – but younger people are increasingly turning to dating apps The office romance is a pop culture classic, riddled with awkward advances and sexual tension - think about Dawn and Tim’s longing looks in The Office or Mark and Sophie’s miserable marriage in Peep Show. In fact, YouGov research shows that nearly a fifth of Brits met their current or most recent partner at work. If you’re still hopeful this cuffing season (winter officially ends on 20 March), another equally popular route to love is meeting through mutual friends (18%). More niche options include finding a partner through a shared hobby (5%) or through family (3%). Speed dating and similar face to face events are unlikely to yield results. Less than 1% of people who have been in a relationship found their current or most recent partner this way. Young people are less likely to ‘bump into’ the love of their lives Countless love stories in films and TV shows start with an unexpected encounter in a bookshop or at a bar. It does happen in real life too: one in five people aged 50 to 64 met their partner by chance while out and about. For younger generations, such encounters are increasingly rare. Only one in twenty people aged 20 to 29 met their partner at a bar or elsewhere by chance. So if no one is asking for your number on a night out - it’s not you, it’s just your generation. Millennial love takes a more practical approach: swiping through digital photographs. Over a fifth of 25- to 34-year-olds met their partner online – 13% through dating apps and 9% websites such as OKCupid or Guardian Soulmates. Dating websites are most popular with people who are slightly older. One in nine 40- to 44-year-olds (11%) met their partner on a website, while apps are somewhat more unusual at 7%.

What’s the best place to look for a partner?

It depends on your age but most people still meet their partner offline - and it tends to happen where one spends a lot of time. Young people aged 18 to 24 first spot their crushes at university (18%), school (18%) or with mutual friends (15%). In contrast, 45- to 54-year-olds meet tend to meet at work (22%), by chance (19%) or through friends (16%). Older couples who, like Homer and Marge Simpson, met at school are rare. Only 4% of 45-to 54-year-olds met this way, while 3% found their current or most recent partner at university. These figures may change over time, as attending university is more common among younger people. Keep an eye on our new trackers for the most recent numbers on how Brits meet their partners.

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What does it mean if you are constantly thinking of someone?

You're focusing on potential If you can't stop thinking about someone new, it may be because you're focusing on their potential, says Greer. “That's the fantasy of what you could have and what you long for, what you may feel is missing in your life, what you might have had with somebody else,” Greer says.

When someone’s stuck in your mind, you’ve usually succumbed to rumination – obsessive, constant and repetitive thinking. Think of it as thoughts running endlessly on a hamster wheel.

How difficult it is to stop thinking about people comes down to who they were to you and what they meant to you in your life at the time, according to Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me?

Maybe a former flame had given you visions of forever. Maybe a friend offered comfort in your time of need. There are many reasons people keep thinking about others, even when they don’t want to. And it’s not just past connections who may be running a loop in your mind. You can ruminate on new friends and acquaintances too. The good news is that doing this occasionally is completely normal, according to Dr Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist. It only becomes a problem when coping skills (more on those in a bit) don’t help and you feel like you can’t control your thoughts.

So why might your mind latch onto thoughts of someone?

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