Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: RODNAE Productions
They lie or withhold information. ... Flaky/inconsistent in behaviour and effort. ... Lack of empathy or remorse in general. ... Lack of accountability. ... Very charming - BUT emotionally unavailable and avoid intimacy. ... Downplay seriousness of cheating (justify why cheating happens) ... Exes are talked about as “crazy” or “the problem” More items... •
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Read More »Here are 10 therapists backed signs of someone that is a serial cheater They lie or withhold information If they’re not transparent or don’t tell you what they’re doing, or provide you with information that you feel like is fair and reasonable in a relationship, then this is a red flag that they aren’t 100% communicative and that they might be likely to cheat on you. Flaky/inconsistent in behaviour and effort They lie about things or, for example, they say they’re going to be somewhere at a certain time but they’re not. They’ll call you at a certain time but they don’t. When someone says they are going to do something, it is really important that their actions align. Lack of empathy or remorse in general If you bring up something in the relationship that you’re upset about or you bring up a feeling they’re going to minimise it, they’re going to get defensive. They’re not really interested in your experience of the relationship. And, they’re not interested in your feelings or your perspective. Lack of accountability Nothing is ever their fault. Particularly when you enter into conflict - there are excuses for everything and there is always a justification for why they acted the way that they did. If this lack of accountability is in your relationship, this could be a danger sign for the long term. Very charming - BUT emotionally unavailable and avoid intimacy Serial cheaters often are able to get away with what they do because they have everyone wrapped around their little fingers. THese are the people that say all of the right things and do all of the right things and make you feel they are the one for you - but underneath it all, they may not let you as close as you want to be, or they continue to hold you at arm’s length. Downplay seriousness of cheating (justify why cheating happens) If they’re talking about cheating or someone else cheating, they’ll downplay it or minimise it. Often they will have excuses for why they cheated - either on you - or in their past relationships. There is little accountability and they don’t communicate the severity of the problem and how it has impacted them, or their partner - present or past. Exes are talked about as “crazy” or “the problem” Listen to how they talk about other people, especially exes because, for serial cheaters, often other people and exes are always the problem. Serial cheaters lack self-awareness and personal accountability. They don’t take responsibility for their behaviour. Get bored with monogamy Serial cheaters often find it difficult to be with one partner. At OPENHOUSE, we understand that monogamy is not for everyone - but we believe that, whatever your approach to monogamy, infidelity is an entirely different thing. For those who cheat constantly, often their relationships will be driven by a need for sex, attraction, chemistry and excitement - and maybe it never gets to a deeper level. This isn’t to say that people in deep, emotional relationships don’t cheat either - they sure do, but someone who gets bored with monogamy quickly may pose a red flag. Admit to cheating in previous relationships Often, serial cheaters may actually admit to the fact that they have cheated in previous relationships - BUT always have an excuse or have to justify it. Think “It was the exes fault or it was a bad relationship that should have ended way before it did”. Their behaviour shows resistance to change For many people who cheat on their partners, despite saying they will change, they don’t and they just continue the cheating behavior. In Episode 10 of the OPENHOUSE Podcast, Dr Tari taught us that “Cheating often happens when you look outside yourself and a relationship for something. A healthy relationship is not a mechanism for you to be fed constantly. You need to feed yourself and if you haven’t learnt to do that you look to other people to get these old wounds, these unmet needs made”.
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