Soulmate Gem
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What personality do girls like in guys?

What women want in a man is faithfulness and dependability, a sense of humor, the ability to listen, and a sense of style. Only 13 percent of women cited muscular build as a factor in physical attractiveness. On the other hand, 66 percent of women said moral integrity will “make me quiver."

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A good man is brave, right? And strong? And chivalrous? He can replace a ball valve with a gate valve in a plumbing line, right? (That’s not a metaphor, by the way.)

Turns out, if you ask women, none of that ranks very high.

Recent online surveys of more than 1,000 women between the ages of 21 and 54 (one was conducted by Princeton, New Jersey’s opinion Research Corporation; the other was done on BestLifeOnline.com) found that women value personality far more than physical attractiveness. What women want in a man is faithfulness and dependability, a sense of humor, the ability to listen, and a sense of style. Only 13 percent of women cited muscular build as a factor in physical attractiveness. On the other hand, 66 percent of women said moral integrity will “make me quiver."

More From Men's Health

(Quivering is good.)

Here are the top 20 qualities of a good man, divided by category: Character traits: Faithfulness, dependability, kindness (67 percent of women said they find it a turn-on), moral integrity, fatherliness (defined as patience and caring and desire to be a dad). Personality traits: Sense of humor, intelligence, passion (not the sexual kind, but an active enthusiasm in a pursuit), confidence, generosity. Practical skills: Listening (53 percent), romancing, being good in bed, cooking and cleaning, earning potential. Physical attributes: Sense of style, handsomeness, height, muscular build (13 percent), fitness (only 12 percent) This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

It can all seem a little daunting. To be a good man, I need to be funny and dependable and I have to listen?

Well, yeah, actually. But, fortunately, none of those requires being a manly man. It just requires being… well, cool. In the attitudinal sense. It requires self-possession. Turns out that women think being in control of your energies and appropriately channeling them is the path to greatness. Calmness may be the right move in one situation. Totally freaking out may be the right move in another. But you can be self-possessed while exhibiting either of those qualities. You can be self-possessed no matter your personality type, too. Ryan Gosling is self-possessed. So is Steve Martin. So is Steve Carell. So is BoJack Horseman (mostly). The Rock is self-possessed. So is Timothée Chalamet. It just takes a lot of self-awareness and the right balance of action and restraint. You can be as self-possessed at your son’s baseball game as you can be at a meeting as you can be in the grocery-store checkout line or on a date.

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How can you tell someone is on your mind?

It's hard to go wrong by letting your friend or loved one know you've been thinking about them. ... In fact, it's pretty much an automatic feel-good message. “I've been thinking about you.” “You've been on my mind a lot lately.” “Thinking of you always makes my day.” “Just wanted to send some happy thoughts your way today.” More items... •

There comes that awkward point when it’s been a while since you’ve talked to someone you care about, and you want to check in to tell them “I’m thinking of you.” Maybe they’ve been busy. Maybe you’ve been busy. Whatever the case may be, you miss them, and you want to reach out, but you worry a text or other digital exchange will just get lost in the shuffle. At times like this, a card can really come to the rescue. Taking the time to sign, seal and send a card communicates that you’ve been thinking about your recipient and truly care about keeping up your relationship. The fact that a card is a little out of the ordinary day-to-day flow is a nice bonus. It will grab your recipient’s attention in a friendly way and invite follow-up. Whether you choose a Hello, Keep in Touch, Thinking of You, or blank card, we’ve got ideas to help you add a meaningful message when you sign it. And the good news is, you don’t need to write much to show you care. We’ve organized our tips by message type, but feel free to mix and match to say all you want to say.

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