What not say to a girl you like?

18 Things to NEVER Say to a Woman! You Should NEVER Say These To A Woman. “Are you pregnant?” “When are you going to have children?” “Is it that time of the month?” “You look tired/sick.” “Are you sure you want to wear that?” “You shouldn't wear so much makeup.” “Are you sure you want to eat that?” More items... •

gentlemansgazette.com - 18 Things To NEVER Say To A Woman! - Gentleman's Gazette

How many times does a happy couple make love?

“Normal” is whatever feels fulfilling for you and your partner, and communication plays a key role in making sure both parties feel fulfilled. That...

Last updated Sep 23, 2021

Why do some people dislike PDA?

"For others, it can feel degrading. Or, it can simply feel like, 'Hey, our social roles are being fulfilled and we're being identified as a couple....

Last updated Oct 16, 2022

Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

Promotion

When you buy something using the affiliate links on our site, we may earn a small commission. We here at the Gentleman’s Gazette believe strongly in what it means to be a modern gentleman. That includes treating others with respect and dignity. Today, we’re going to talk about 18 things you should never say to a woman, and why saying these things is generally considered to be hurtful and wrong. It helps to be aware of how cultural and social norms make it especially wrong for men to say these things to women. Awareness of this context will make you more considerate of all of your social interactions. Cultural taboos have defined conversations between men and women for millennia. Certain things were considered improper topics of conversation, usually centered around sexist assumptions of what women should or should not discuss.

You Should NEVER Say These To A Woman

Because they are improper, sexist, and harmful, saying these things will make you sound insecure, entitled, and controlling. Many of these things might even get you fired. Additionally, some of these statements feed into negative gendered stereotypes. They hurt the ability of every person to define who they are, regardless of gender.

1. “Are you pregnant?”

We could talk about the social, personal, or medical realities of childbirth. Women make complicated and introspective assessments of whether and when to reveal that they are pregnant. But, we don’t have to because whether a woman is pregnant or not is none of your business. Asking someone if they’re pregnant is especially when they’re not is not only awkward but offensive as well. Therefore, you have no reason to ask about it. If she wants to share, she’ll bring it up.

2. “When are you going to have children?”

We could just refer to the above point, but we’ll emphasize that this loaded question supports the sexist assumption that all women do or should want to have children. Sexist conventions have often propped up to the impression that a woman exists to only have children. Having a child of your own is truly amazing, but you should never ask a woman when she plans on having one. (Tie from Fort Belvedere) When presuming to ask when a woman is going to have children, you’re playing right into this assumption. Once again, if a woman wants to share her reproductive plans with you, she will do so when she chooses.

3. “Is it that time of the month?”

Ovulation, menopause, and other hormonal cycles affect women differently. It’s insulting, juvenile, and ignorant to assume that any time a woman is having a bad day or is having strong emotions that it’s because of hormones. News flash: men also have hormones and they’re not that great at controlling them. Would you want people to dismiss your feelings based on groundless beliefs about hormones? Saying things like, “He’s a teen. He does all his thinking in his pants,” or “He’s middle-aged. This is all just a mid-life crisis.” Asking women if it’s that time of the month implies that their current mood is due to hormones. Hormones affect everyone differently, but that doesn’t justify treating someone differently or making assumptions about their involvement in someone’s feelings.

4. “You look tired/sick.”

Frankly, you would never want to say to anyone “You look terrible today. Do you have the flu? The plague?” No one likes hearing that they don’t look their best. Chances are they’re perfectly aware of how they look. Unlike in the 15th century, people can afford mirrors. Telling someone they look sick and tired is like telling them that they look terrible. Questions like these are especially galling for women. This is because society holds women to a much higher standard than men when it comes to personal public appearance. If you’re genuinely concerned about how someone is feeling, don’t express it by critiquing someone’s appearance.

5. “Are you sure you want to wear that?”

As men who like to dress well, you’ve probably received some unsolicited negative comments about your wardrobe choices. And was this helpful to you? We suspect not. So, don’t presume to tell others what they should or should not wear. Asking this question isn’t really helpful. Try suggesting what might complement their outfit instead. This question is more insulting when said by a man to a woman because it implies that a man is a much better judge of what a woman should be able to wear. If someone asks you your opinion on their look or is actively seeking advice, share it honestly and kindly.

6. “You shouldn’t wear so much makeup.”

Maybe you think by saying this you’re indicating that a woman is naturally beautiful. But, notice that what you’re actually saying is, “I know what’s better for you than you do.” How much or how little makeup a woman wears is her choice. Unless a woman specifically asks for your input, it isn’t your place to give it.

7. “Are you sure you want to eat that?”

Unless you are a medical professional providing dietary advice or a parent and selling the love of green vegetables, you have no place to tell anyone what to eat.

People are free to make their own choices about what to eat!

What is GREY rocking?

To “grey rock” a person involves making all interactions with them as uninteresting and unrewarding as possible. In general, this means giving...

Last updated Sep 2, 2019

How do I know if the universe wants me to be with someone?

15 Signs The Universe Wants You to Be with Someone You're feeling confident and ready to take more risks. ... You're pursuing the life you want....

Last updated Oct 14, 2019

Promotion

This is especially true when it comes to women as women are habitually subjected to unfair and unrealistic expectations regarding their eating habits. Not only does saying this implies that a man should control what a woman eats, but it also implies that the woman should conform to society’s unrealistic expectations. Focus your energies on your own good diet and trust that others will do the same.

8. “You would be prettier if you smiled more.”

Shall we strike this annoying suggestion because (1) it is unsolicited advice, (2) it props up unfair expectations about a woman’s public appearance, (3) it implies a man knows what’s best for a woman? Why not all three? And in fact, we’ll add a fourth reason. Not only this is unsolicited advice, but this can also be a form of catcalling. This particular suggestion is commonly also used as a catcall. So, not only is it sexist but it’s also deeply jarring. A woman does not owe you a smile, nor does she exist to provide anyone something beautiful to look at. 9. “You should feel lucky that you get free drinks when you go out.” The convention of buying a lady a drink was originally intended as a non-invasive way for a gentleman to express his interest without an introduction. But, some people assume that by buying a lady a drink they’re now entitled to a lady’s time. If a gift comes with a caveat of obligation, it is no longer a gift, it is a bribe, even a thinly veiled threat. Free drinks are one of the many benefits that are allegedly assumed to be enjoyed by women on the dating scene. The fact of the matter is for every benefit women enjoy, there are just as many discomforts and risks. Telling a woman she should be lucky because she’s getting free drinks will make you look self-absorbed and entitled. A naïve assessment of free drinks assumes that all women should be grateful for this attention, regardless of whether or not the woman even wants to talk to the person who provided the drink. Statements like these come from an entitled position that ignores the realities of dating for women. These statements aren’t clever nor are they incisive, but they will make you look self-absorbed and entitled.

10. “You’re crazy!”

This is another extremely dismissive and extremely insulting thing that you should never say to anyone. By implying that someone is insane or at least acting that way, you are now giving yourself permission to go ahead and dismiss everything that they have to say. It’s especially insulting when leveled at women due to the lie that women are more mentally unstable than men, which is a lie that is deeply rooted in history. You don’t actually think that the person you’re speaking to is crazy because, by definition, you can’t reason with anyone who is insane. Telling someone they’re crazy is like giving yourself permission to dismiss anything they have to say. Therefore, this insult can only be deployed to justify dismissing others. It should always be avoided regardless of the gender who’s being spoken to.

11. “It’s not a big deal.”

When someone says something is a big deal, it’s not your place to define whether or not it is. You don’t get to decide someone else’s perceptions or feelings. And when a man says this to a woman, he is implying that he, and not she, is the best arbiter of what is right. Therefore, this claim becomes not only insensitive but also deeply sexist.

12. “Calm down. You’re being emotional.”

Fundamentally, you have no right to police how anyone else feels. If they’re feeling emotions and are acting on them, they have every right to do so. This claim is meant to imply that the other person is being irrational and unreasonable. That’s not the same thing as experiencing one’s feelings, that is to say, being emotional.

Women, (and men) have the right to be emotional when they want.

When this accusation is brought from a man to a woman, it plays into the stereotype that women are inherently more emotional than men. Not only is this insulting to women, but it props up an assertion that men should not be emotional. A dangerous and wrong assertion that contributes to poor emotional health for men.

13. “Let me explain it so you can understand.”

Ah, the now-famous mansplaining! If you’re going to explain something to someone it is a given that you’re doing so with the intention of being understood. The only reason to explicitly state you’re doing so is to be demeaning by implying that you’re now dumbing things down. Mansplaining is demeaning – it’s like telling a woman that you’re dumbing things down so she would understand it. This is wrong under any circumstances, but especially when said by a man to a woman. It implies that the man is innately more intelligent than the woman. When explaining anything to anyone, do it in a respectful and informative way.

14. “You’re very smart/well-spoken…for a woman.”

How do you test for love?

If you want to know if your relationship is meant to last, experts say these are the tests your partner should be able to pass. The Money Test....

Last updated Feb 26, 2020

What should you not tell your best friend?

Your Intimate Health Details Or Those Of Your Family Best friends aren't entitled to know about what happens between you and your doctor; it's your...

Last updated Aug 10, 2019

Promotion

It doesn’t take much imagination to recognize how backhanded this statement sounds. It isn’t flattering to compliment someone’s abilities. And then, immediately, say that someone else by virtue of their sex alone might be superior.

All of us are capable of big ideas.

This insult presumes that men are innately superior to women at a given task, and it’s quite impressive that the woman could even compare. There is simply no reason to draw comparisons like this, except to belittle a woman’s achievements. So, just don’t do it.

15. “You should ask my mom how to _.”

Just because your mother does something a certain way doesn’t mean it’s the only way. This suggestion not only implies that the woman you’re telling it to is doing something wrong, but it also sets up an awkward competition between the woman and your mother. Also, you’ve effectively volunteered your mother to help someone out as opposed to offering to help yourself, as if it’s a task just for women. Telling a woman to ask someone how to do something implies that their work isn’t good enough. If a woman is trying to do something, it isn’t helpful to say, “I know someone who can do that better.” If a woman asks for help in an area where you know your mother excels, you might politely suggest that the two swap ideas. Otherwise, offer to help yourself if you can.

16. “I’m interested in a relationship,” (when you’re not).

Obviously, you’re under no obligation to be in a relationship. But, you also cannot lie about said relationship because it is more convenient or beneficial for you. We hope it is patently obvious how egregiously wrong it is to lie about commitment to secure sex, but even in more benign circumstances, it is never okay to feign interest in a relationship. Don’t lie, cheat and lead a woman on just because the relationship benefits you. When doing this, you’re playing with someone’s feelings and being manipulative. If you’re not ready to be in a relationship, say so even if it ends what you currently have. Pretending won’t make things better and it isn’t easier than just breaking up. As is usually the case in most human relationships, honesty is the best policy.

17. “You knew I was like this.”

Relationships are all about trust and compromise. As a relationship grows growth from those involved is expected. If a partner shares an opinion about your behavior, take it seriously. Do not dismiss your own shortcomings by claiming, “I’ve always been this way.” Knowing about a character flaw does not make it acceptable.

Don’t dismiss your shortcomings with “I’ve always been like this..”

If you care about the relationship and trust your partner, listen honestly and openly to what is said. And you must be fundamentally open to change. If you don’t care about the relationship or trust your partner, why are you in the relationship?

18. “You aren’t like other girls.”

While everyone likes feeling special, the compliment is actually insulting. It implies that there is something fundamentally deficient about other women and that the woman receiving the compliment should feel grateful that she alone has been found worthy. It also exacerbates a social construction that seeks to put women in competition with each other over everything. The respect, dignity, and appreciation due to all women are held up as a price due to be given out by a man to a woman of his choosing. Even though you meant it as a compliment, telling a woman they aren’t like others could also imply that she should be grateful because she has been found worthy. Hopefully, what someone giving this compliment is trying to express is, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” or “You are extremely special to me.” So, if that’s what you mean, say that instead. It’s more personal, more meaningful, and doesn’t play into sexist stereotypes.

Conclusion

In summary, a gentleman should always treat everyone with respect and that includes, of course, the ladies. This isn’t a comprehensive list, but it does cover many of the most egregious examples that true a modern gentleman should avoid stating.

Outfit Rundown

I’m wearing a blue-and-white-checked button-up shirt and khaki pants with a Fort Belvedere belt and Fort Belvedere socks. And, of course, finishing off with white leather sneakers. And, of course, you can always find socks like these and other great accessories at the Fort Belvedere shop. Kyle wearing a blue and white button-up shirt, khaki pants with a Fort Belvedere belt, and socks. Fort Belvedere Black Calf Leather Belt Aniline Dyed Cut-To-Size – Folded Edges 3cm x 120cm – Fort Belvedere Shop Here Fort Belvedere Dark Brown Two Tone Solid Oxford Socks Fil d'Ecosse Cotton – Fort Belvedere Shop Here Which of these statements do you find most jarring and are there things you can add to this list? Let us know in the comments!

gentlemansgazette.com - 18 Things To NEVER Say To A Woman! - Gentleman's Gazette

How do you know if you are soulmate?

You know you've found a kindred soulmate when you pretty much agree on all of the small and big stuff. “You love the same things; laugh at the same...

Last updated May 12, 2022

Which zodiac is luckiest in 2023?

1. Which zodiac signs will be lucky in 2023? Libra, Scorpio & Gemini will be favored the most by luck in 2023. 7 days ago

Last updated May 12, 2021

Promotion

What does it feel like when you feel someone's presence?

Feeling of Presence, or FoP, is the disconcerting notion that someone else is hovering nearby, walking alongside you or even touching you. It's the...

Last updated Aug 30, 2018

Promotion

Can a girl have feelings for 2 boys?

It's possible to have strong feelings for multiple people simultaneously. That said, it may be best to focus on one person and achieving a truly...

Last updated Jun 14, 2020