Soulmate Gem
Photo: tiago tins
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. Every teen — or preteen — is different, though, and your child might be ready sooner or later than their peers.
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Read More »Teenage dating can be confusing for parents. Your child might not even wait for the teenage years before they ask you if they can “go out” with someone. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. Every teen — or preteen — is different, though, and your child might be ready sooner or later than their peers. Talking to Your Teen About Dating If your child has started to bring up dating, start by figuring out what they mean by “dating.” When a 12- or 13-year-old talks about a budding relationship with someone, they might mean anything from texting back and forth with a crush to a group movie outing including the crush and other friends. Younger teens are more likely to date in a cluster, rather than one-on-one. It’s part of the natural transition from same-gender social groups to coed groups and finally to one-on-one dating. Co-ed groups let kids experiment with dating behaviors in a safer setting with less pressure. Talk to your teen or preteen about what dating or going out entails in their friend group. You need to know what they want to do before you decide whether you’re comfortable with it. When Is Your Teen Ready to Date “Solo”? Eventually, teens are ready to make the move and start going on what an adult would recognize as a date. Some pediatricians suggest that kids wait until they’re 16 to start this kind of one-on-one dating. That’s a good place to start the discussion, but every kid is different. Some are more emotionally mature than others. Some teens come from communities and families where one-on-one dating starts earlier or later. The best thing is to talk about one-on-one dating before it becomes a possibility. If your 13-year-old is “hanging out” with someone — teen talk for casual dating without a commitment — it’s not too early to start talking about dating rules.
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Read More »Oxytocin Oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, activates feelings of trust and attraction between people when it is released in the brain, and it rises in the early stages of romantic love.
Oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, activates feelings of trust and attraction between people when it is released in the brain, and it rises in the early stages of romantic love. Yet it is not just a Cupid's arrow that spurs you to fall in love with the nearest person, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Neuroscience. Instead oxytocin's social magic depends on whether or not a person is in a monogamous relationship. A team of researchers from the University of Bonn in Germany and elsewhere monitored a first encounter between straight male study participants and an attractive woman in a laboratory setting. When given oxytocin via an intranasal spray before the meeting, men who had indicated they were currently in a stable relationship kept a greater physical distance from the woman in the lab compared with single guys given oxytocin and with single and “taken” guys given a placebo. Although they stayed only 10 to 15 centimeters farther away, the extra distance left the woman outside of what most people consider “personal space,” a zone reserved for loved ones. Moreover, it was not because they did not find her attractive: the monogamous men who received oxytocin rated the woman just as good-looking as the other men did. The results suggest that oxytocin has a role in maintaining relationships after they are sparked and add to growing evidence for differences in how the hormone acts to modulate social interactions—for example, promoting bonds with familiar people but provoking aggression with strangers. “It's not all positive with oxytocin,” says Dirk Scheele, a psychologist involved with the study. “And what you call prosocial or antisocial depends on your perspective.”
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