Soulmate Gem
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What is the 3 dates rule?

When you start dating someone new, there is always the looming question of when you'll sleep together for the first time. In popular theory, that moment is the third date. The three-date rule, as firmly practiced by Charlotte York, stated that the third date was the appropriate time to have sex with a guy.

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When you start dating someone new, there is always the looming question of when you'll sleep together for the first time. In popular theory, that moment is the third date. The three-date rule, as firmly practiced by Charlotte York, stated that the third date was the appropriate time to have sex with a guy. But according to this survey, the old three-date rule is out, and now, women are waiting five dates before having sex. (Evidently, they are also waiting for 12 text conversations, two gifts, and three movie nights. Um, OK I guess?) Sure. Five dates seems like an OK amount of time to spend getting to know each other. But so does three dates. So does 20 dates. So does three years of dating and a six-month engagement, if that's your thing. My point is, there isn't a universal right amount of time for every person. There isn't even necessarily a right amount of time for one person in every situation. Maybe with one guy, you couldn't keep your hands off each other on the first date, but then with the next, it took you months to feel comfortable. If you have your own rule for yourself, that's fine, but a) I think you should consider breaking it every once in a while and b) even if you don't, don't assume your rule is right for anyone else. Just like any other thing in life—from waking up in the morning to buying a house to having kids—we don't all have to do it at the same time. End of discussion.

Just kidding, it's never the end of discussion! So discuss: Do you follow a rule for when to sleep with a guy? If so, what is it? And even if you don't have a rule per se, is there a general amount of time that feels right to you?

How long should you casually date someone before becoming exclusive?
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Can your soulmate just be a friend?

Yes, soul mates can be platonic. A platonic soul mate relationship is a friendship that goes virtually as deep as any friendship can.

Yes, soul mates can be platonic. A platonic soul mate relationship is a friendship that goes virtually as deep as any friendship can. Nuñez explains these friendships won't feel like other "normal" friendships but rather you are friends "at a soul level" and likely shared a profound and instant recognition upon first meeting. And don't underestimate the power these connections can have. According to Richardson, our platonic soul mates can be just as important in our lives as romantic soul mates. "If you think of earthly life as a temporary journey for the soul, as some spiritual people do, you'll want to have interesting, supportive companions for the trip—just like any character in an epic story or legend picks up companions along the way," she adds. It's also very possible (and even likely) that you'll have more than one platonic soul mate throughout your life, and even more than one at the same time. "You can meet new soul mates all throughout your life. They don't have to be a best friend from childhood—it could be someone from work or someone you meet in your 50s," Nuñez says. Richardson also notes that some soul mates come and go, and some are around for the long haul. Regardless of their duration, these connections are a fundamental part of the journey. "Just like the human body needs food and water, the soul requires companion soul mates," she says.

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