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What is the 24 hour rule dating?

The 24 Hour Rule is a simple and effective method for saving relationships, particularly when you are tempted to act out of high emotion: When emotion is high, don't let words fly. Stop! Give it 24 Hours before you act.

dougspeaks.com - 24 Hour Rule Will Change Your Relationships - Doug Speaks

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The next 24 Hours could save your relationships.

I wrote a scathing text back to a good friend of mine and was ready to push send. You see, we were meeting for lunch and I had moved two meetings and a coaching client to meet with him. Five minutes before our lunch meeting, I got a text that said, “Hey dude, sorry I won’t be able to meet with you today, apologies. Another time?” I was silently livid, How could he so nonchalantly blow me off like that–not to mention all the blood, sweat, and tears I had put into meeting him (ok a little overly dramatic). How dare he!!! I am sure you have experienced something similar. I was “so” ready to push “send” and lay a claim on some level of revenge to my rude friend. Then that little voice said, “Don’t send it! Slow down! Remember the 24 Hour Rule. Slow down!” I listened to that little voice and didn’t send it. I am so glad I didn’t. Why? Because it would have caused damage to our friendship and created drama that neither of us needed.

Text is never a good venue for communicating when emotion is involved.

Sure, there is a time, place, and emotional centered state for a loving and direct conversation for situations like this. This text was none of these. The 24 Hour Rule is a simple and effective method for saving relationships, particularly when you are tempted to act out of high emotion:

When emotion is high, don’t let words fly. Stop!

Give it 24 Hours before you act.

When we act on impulse we are acting from the limbic system in the brain–the part responsible for “fight, flight, or freeze.” The goal is to slow down, breath, and allow the rational part of the brain to fire up. Here is the rest of the story. When I settled down, I called him and we were able to talk through what had happened in a calm, rational way. That is the emotionally healthy way to handle these situations.

Invitation:

The next time you are “irked” by someone, instead of shooting off an emotionally charged text, give yourself 24 hours and then call them to talk through things in a calm, rational way. You will preserve your relationship and improve your verbal communication skills.

Keep looking up and looking forward,

Doug Nielsen

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What causes you to think about someone all the time?

You're focusing on potential If you can't stop thinking about someone new, it may be because you're focusing on their potential, says Greer. “That's the fantasy of what you could have and what you long for, what you may feel is missing in your life, what you might have had with somebody else,” Greer says.

rdasia.com - 7 reasons you keep thinking about someone – and how to stop

When someone’s stuck in your mind, you’ve usually succumbed to rumination – obsessive, constant and repetitive thinking. Think of it as thoughts running endlessly on a hamster wheel.

How difficult it is to stop thinking about people comes down to who they were to you and what they meant to you in your life at the time, according to Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me?

Maybe a former flame had given you visions of forever. Maybe a friend offered comfort in your time of need. There are many reasons people keep thinking about others, even when they don’t want to. And it’s not just past connections who may be running a loop in your mind. You can ruminate on new friends and acquaintances too. The good news is that doing this occasionally is completely normal, according to Dr Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist. It only becomes a problem when coping skills (more on those in a bit) don’t help and you feel like you can’t control your thoughts.

So why might your mind latch onto thoughts of someone?

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