What is Ghostlighting?

Ghostlighting is the combination of two dating phenomena that you're likely familiar with. There's ghosting, where the person randomly disappears from your life after talking to you for a while without a valid explanation. And then there is gaslighting, which is a very real form of emotional abuse.

timesofindia.indiatimes.com - The new dating trend that you should know of - Ghostlighting

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In today's age of dating, many relationships are based on temporary feelings because people have now got so many options. There are people who jump from one partner to another in no time. This has led to weaker connections where they slowly start to fade away if they start losing interest. Or even worse, totally disappear at once. This only leaves you feeling confused, frustrated and angry. When these emotions take over, you gather all your courage and express how you felt hurt when they ghosted you. Don't feel bad if you are told that they were "just caught up" or how you are "overreacting". Do you know what this is called? It's called ghostlighting and no, it's not at all okay.Ghostlighting is the combination of two dating phenomena that you're likely familiar with. There's ghosting, where the person randomly disappears from your life after talking to you for a while without a valid explanation. And then there is gaslighting, which is a very real form of emotional abuse.Basically, it is a series of manipulative tactics with a goal of making the person feel like they're acting crazy or that they can't trust their own selves. With ghostlighting, the person will do two things. Either they will cut off all ties with you or create so much distance from you that this sudden shift will feel confusing. They will then choose to bring this up in an effort to show some clarity, but they will instead just make you doubt your own reality.So when someone ghostlights you, they are simply trying to manipulate you and create guilt to make you feel like it's all your fault and not theirs. This way, they will be able to absolve themselves from any sort of responsibility. They will turn the focus on you instead of actually owning up to their actions. They will make it all sound like you were being too needy and as though you were the one to push them away if you were the one to need some space.How do you deal with ghostlighters?Do everything that's possible to not fall for such manipulators. If you fall for someone who manipulates you, it can be tempting to believe what they said, but you shouldn't. Your gut instincts exist for a reason, which is to protect you. If something feels off with a person you've been talking to for a while, it's always right and you must choose to go your separate way before they ghostlight you.

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What is a backup girlfriend?

A back-up partner, standby lover, or spare-tyre lover is a person anticipated as a potential future romantic/sexual partner in the event of the failure or unforeseen end of a current relationship.

en.wikipedia.org - Back-up partner - Wikipedia

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A back-up partner, standby lover, or spare-tyre lover is a person anticipated as a potential future romantic/sexual partner in the event of the failure or unforeseen end of a current relationship. The main purpose of maintaining a back-up partner is to avoid ending up alone and heartbroken after breaking up with another lover. The term "spare-tyre lover" (爱情备胎), has become popular on the Internet in China.[1][2] A study from 2014 found that Facebook users in relationships often used the site to maintain platonic friendships they felt could become replacement relationships if required, with men having such contacts at roughly twice the rate of women.[3]

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An unstable current relationship may lead people to seek back-up lovers, particularly long-distance relationships.[4] Some people gain personal confidence from having a back-up lover, appreciating the fact that they are being admired by more than one person.[5]