Signs of unspoken attraction in the other person could include eye contact, wanting to hold your hand, leaning towards you, and being interested in your life and affairs. They could also want to speak with you frequently and spend quality time with you.
Attraction is a funny thing. Although it seems as though attraction is the precursor to a legitimate connection, this isn’t always the case. Attraction can sometimes be wholly physical without an emotional component. Attraction can be entirely emotional in its outlook, without a physical interest. Attraction can also be a standalone thing that never materializes into anything other than interest and the thrill of a strong physical reaction to the presence of another human being. While the attraction between two people can often signal the start of something beautiful and new, it can just as often signal the presence of nothing more than that: simple physical attraction.
Attraction Versus Connection
Wondering If The Attraction is Mutual? Ask A Relationship Expert. Talk To A Licensed Therapist
Attraction is the process by which one person is drawn toward another person. There are many different kinds of attraction, including physical attraction, emotional attraction, and mental attraction. In some scenarios, all three types of attraction are present, but it is just as common to see only one of the three types involved in two people attracted to one another, or for it to be unspoken attraction.
Conversely, the connection is typically used to denote a deeper, more personal connection between two people. While attraction can happen with people of any background, belief system, or level of attractiveness, the connection is usually reserved for people who some things in common, such as interests, belief systems, likes, or wants. Connection is usually the meat that keeps a relationship going, while attraction is typically the whisper of possibility that gives a new relationship its legs.
Connection is not commonly experienced at first sight or even necessarily on the first interaction. At the same time, attraction usually comes from a first-time interaction or at least soon after an initial interaction. Attraction does not have to be long-lasting, while connection usually is. When assessing flirtations and whether or not they are likely to develop into anything else, differentiating between connection and attraction is extremely important and can help you avoid many heartaches.
Signs of Unspoken Mutual Attraction
The signs of physical attraction between two people are usually easy to identify, both by the two people involved and those in the immediate vicinity. The most common indication of mutual attraction is chemistry. Two people with physical chemistry might almost seem to be drawn to one another and seem to be near one another physically constantly. In friendly settings, these people might constantly be seen sitting together, eating together, or congregating in similar social circles.
These people might also tease one another and seem to be at ease in one another’s company.
When two people experience intense mutual attraction, it is usually visible to both them and the world around them. Your friends might comment on the two of you when they see you together, or coworkers might comment on the chemistry you . You might be mistaken for a couple, or acquaintances might assume they are close friends or similarly familiar ties. If this regularly happens to you and the person you are flirting with, it is likely a clear-cut indication that the two of you have a mutual attraction. If you are working together, these can be signs coworkers are attracted to each other.
You will also likely feel an intensity to your relationship, even if your interactions have been few and far between. You might notice heat spiking up along your pores and adrenaline flooding your limbs. You might find yourself almost giddy when you see them and notice a familiar eagerness in their appearance and interactions with you. You might also recall noticing that the person with whom you attraction seems to pay you special attention, whether that means dropping little gifts by for you, writing you quick notes, always seeming to show up when you are around, or creating inside jokes for the two of you to . These little interactions typically indicate some interest, even if that interest is small or is not intended to go anywhere.
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Despite all of the signs and symptoms of intense physical, emotional, or mental attraction, your relationship might have stalled there. You don’t ask the person for their number, they don’t ask you for yours, or the two of you exchange texts and calls without the promise-or even the hint of developing a romantic relationship. You might find yourself wondering about this person but not truly considering a relationship, or you might notice that the person you are attracted to never seems interested in exploring your interactions further despite your constant flirting and pleasant interactions.
In some cases, this can indicate that one or both of you are too scared to take the next step, but it can also indicate that you do not want more than what you already . In these cases, the best thing to do is recognize and enjoy what the two of you have, realize that it is the extent of your relationship, and relieve yourself of the expectation or anticipation of anything further happening. The reasons for this can vary dramatically from person to person and situation to situation, so make sure you examine your motives, needs, and wants before you continue your flirtatious relationship.
When the attraction is just attraction, emotional attachment is unlikely to develop. This can happen when two people are otherwise attached, are too different actually to function well as a couple, or when two people only like one another for a few aspects of their personality, or in small doses. Not every instance of attraction warrants further exploration, just as not every pleasant interaction carries a multitude of meaning behind it. Sometimes, pleasant interactions are pleasant interactions, and attraction is little more than a concoction created by familiarity, proximity, and compatible personalities.
How To Know It Is Time To Let Go
The clearest sign that it is time to let go is when plenty of time has passed (weeks or months) without either of you pursuing something further. If you are usually the aggressor in your relationships, but you find yourself hesitating or always giving an excuse for why the two of you haven’t gotten together or haven’t taken your flirtation any further, this is a clear indication that you have some misgivings about the situation, and you may need to let go of the (non)relationship.
If you have made some overtures about possibly taking your flirtation further and they have been continually rebuffed, this is another indication that it is time to let go. Your flirtatious friend might enjoy the flattery of your attention and might get a small boost to his or her ego each time you interact but does not see the two of you like a relationship with the potential for anything more than the occasional enjoyable interaction. It could also be that the person you are flirting with is actually already involved with someone else and enjoys their interactions with you too much to give them up altogether. In either case, though, while you can continue to enjoy your mutual attraction, you would do well to let go of the idea of it being anything other than a casual series of interactions rather than the beginning of a legitimate relationship.
Unspoken Attraction And Letting Go
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Wondering If The Attraction is Mutual? Ask A Relationship Expert. Talk To A Licensed Therapist
Unspoken attraction can be a beautiful thing. Two people who feel plenty of physical attraction and even sexual tension toward one another can provide an enormous boost to self-esteem and offer a sense of purpose or hope. In many cases, a case of mutual physical attraction never materializes into anything more and remains at the initial attraction stage. While it may be tempting to see this as an indication of a flaw on your part, cowardice, or something else negative about yourself or the person with whom you an attraction, having a mutual attraction exists only at that level. Never anything more could indicate nothing more than a simple letting-go of expectations and the understanding that physical attraction is neither a promise nor a directive of anything else.
Letting go of the expectations that often accompany attraction can be difficult, particularly if you are going through a trying time or are experiencing a period of extreme or intense loneliness. Feeling attraction-and feeling someone else’s attraction for you-can seem like a beacon of hope in the midst of an otherwise difficult time, but letting go of the expectation of further development can leave you both open to enjoying one another’s attention and interest without the accompanying feelings of anger, frustration, or inadequacy. Learning how to deal with loneliness and create healthy self-esteem, personal boundaries, and ideas regarding relationships and romance are far more effectively done with a mental health professional than with the person you might be interested in seeing.
For some, the feeling of just knowing that you are attractive and seen by someone else is enough. For some, anything less than an all-out attachment is seen as little more than a failure or a character flaw. There is a reasonable, pleasant middle ground, though, wherein the both of you are free to enjoy the attention, attraction, and flattery of one another, without the promise, lure, or guarantee of anything more. And that, though ambiguous, can be a wonderful place to be.
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Sandra Filipe
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