What does living by the Spirit look like?

If we're living by the Spirit, the posture of our heart is oriented toward and in tandem with God. We aren't so concerned with what the world thinks of us — we care about pressing on toward our goal to become more like God (i.e. to love God, do what He did aka love others).

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Living by the Spirit: what does that mean for our relationship with food & body?

Please note: This is a synthesis of biblical scripture in the context of our diet culture-filled world. The intended audience is someone who has struggled or is struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder. If that is not you, this may not resonate with you. I understand and acknowledge that this is not an all-encompassing description of what living by the Spirit entails. Once we believe in Jesus and His resurrection, we are encouraged to live by the Spirit, not by the flesh. What does that mean? And what does it have to do with our relationship with food & body? What about “self-control”? Let’s dig in.

First, let’s define the flesh.

What is the flesh?

The greek word for flesh is sarx, which means:

a living creature (because possessed of a body of flesh) whether man or beast the flesh, denotes mere human nature, the earthly nature of man apart from divine influence, and therefore prone to sin and opposed to God Scripture instructs us not to indulge the flesh, but rather — to live by the Spirit. Because the term “flesh” reminds us of our bodies, it’s often misunderstood (in the context of disordered eating recovery) to mean we can’t trust our body’s signals, and while that can certainly be true in other areas I don’t think it means we can’t trust our hunger & fullness cues. There’s some nuance here, but I want to add some context and explain why listening to and honoring your hunger (and subsequently not trying to manipulate our body size) can actually allow us to live by the Spirit, not by the flesh.

Walk me through it.

Living by the Spirit would allow us to live in pace with and in response to God. If that sounds complicated, read a few verses from Galatians chapter 5, which highlight the fruit of the Spirit (or what we may experience when living by the Spirit).

Galatians 5:16-25 NIV

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

What does this have to do with our relationship with food & our bodies?

If we’re living by the Spirit, the posture of our heart is oriented toward and in tandem with God. We aren’t so concerned with what the world thinks of us — we care about pressing on toward our goal to become more like God (i.e. to love God, do what He did aka love others). We understand that we no longer live but Christ lives in us (Gal 2:20), and we have received His grace (2 Cor 12:9), freeing us from condemnation (Romans 8:1) and living by the law (Gal 5:18).

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Okay, but what about the fruits of the Spirit?

For the most part, the fruits of the Spirit are easy to understand (and desirable!), but the word “self-control” is a little tricky, I think, because of the negative connotation our culture that’s obsessed with dieting has given it. Let’s dig into what this means and why self-control is not about “ignoring your hunger” — how it’s often phrased. The greek word for self-control is egkratés, which translates to strong, master of, self-controlled. In the bible, self-control is often used in the context of ignoring the desires of our flesh. If “self-control” makes you think you need to “control” your food intake or body size (i.e. eat less or make it smaller), I think we should reconsider.

If the flesh is our sinful human nature (e.g. worldly & disordered desires like idolatry, hatred, etc), then ignoring our hunger to give into our disordered desire to manipulate our body size would be indulging in the flesh, right? Wouldn’t listening to our hunger cues, accepting our natural body size, taking care of our bodies for the sake of health (not appearance) be considered self-control?

Saying no to hunger is not actually self-control.

Living by the Spirit and, as a result, being able to say no to external rules or the internal condemnation (i.e. the voice saying you “should” restrict your food) IS self-control. Now, the first pushback I know I’ll get is — okay, but what about people who overeat or don’t listen to their cues telling them to stop eating? We’ll get there. Indeed, there is nuance, but the most important question we need to be asking ourselves anytime we make a decision, whether it’s about food or money or work or whatever is — “What’s the condition of my heart right now?” In other words — “Am I seeking to live by the Spirit, whatever that means for my body or am I concerned with engaging in X as a means of earning acceptance, validation and love?”

Okay, back to the overeating question.

I’ve seen a lot of scripture thrown at the non-diet approach — verses like: Proverbs 23:2 and 23:21. I’ve given a very brief explanation of both. (I know there are more to dig into but for the sake of brevity, we’re starting here.) Proverbs 23:2 ESV and put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite. If you read the verse before this one, we see the context is about eating at a rich ruler’s dining table. These few verses are about being aware of deceptive hospitality, not ignoring your hunger. Proverbs 23:21 ESV For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags. Here this verse is warning of the dangers of excess and lack of structure. The thing is: honoring our hunger cues is not the same as being gluttonous. Enjoying a delicious or indulgent meal is not a gluttonous occasion. We have to stop seeing it that way.

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Side note: In Acts 2:46 NLT it reads: They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity. —> Food is allowed to be enjoyed! Meals are a time of fellowship and joy. What’s more: Research shows that overeating is a result of three main things: habit, emotions, and, yep, restriction. And it’s often a combination of all three. So this narrative that says “I just need more self-control and I’ll stop bingeing” is true — but not for the reasons we think. To stop overeating, you need self-control or self-discipline or however you want to call it — AKA you have to stop listening to what the world is telling you to do with your food choices and body size. You need to feed yourself adequately. Only then can your brain and body begin to trust that you will be fed regularly and your intense desires for food can start to subside. (Let me be clear: I am condensing a LOT of info right now and you may need more support. I suggest working with a dietitian to add more nuance, context and individualized care to your plan for recovery.)

Bring it all together:

We can’t deny that for a lot of us trying to manipulate our body size and food choices gives way to our food & body becoming idols — or rather, compels us to try to earn the validation we receive from those choices. God doesn’t want us to live under the law, trying to earn His love or anyone else’s. It’s not His way. He doesn’t want us to have idols (extreme admiration, love, or reverence) for anyone or anything other than Him. If we understand the heart and character of God (i.e. compassionate, abundant, loving, kind, forgiving (1 John 1:5, James 1:17, John 3:16, Numbers 23:19, Psalm 18:30) and His desire for us to love one another & participate in the Great Commission (Matthew 22:37, Matthew 28:16-20), I have a hard time thinking he would want us to spend so much time trying to manipulate our body size. In fact, I would even go so far to say that living by the Spirit (including “self-control” as we’ve redefined it) would involve us digging into our relationship with food and our body (if needed!) so we can figure out why we’re spending so much time thinking about it. This is tough work! Listening to our hunger cues & nourishing our bodies with enough food would not mean we are living by the flesh — a well-fed and cared for mind and body would help us to live by the Spirit.

Looking for more faith-based non-diet resources and support? Click here.

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