Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Diana Agapova
They're formal symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). An example would be limerance in OCD, where you think about your love interest so much that it interferes with your work, school, social life, or home life.
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The Ideal Age Gap in Relationships Couples with a zero to three-year age difference showed greater satisfaction than those with a four- to six-year...
Read More »You can stop thinking about someone by refocusing on yourself, keeping your distance, and exploring why you can’t take them out of your head. Share on Pinterest Not being able to stop thinking about someone may signal that your emotional health needs attention. (Maria Manco/Stocksy United) Whether you’ve just come out of a relationship or experiencing unrequited love, learning how to stop thinking about someone can feel impossible — but it isn’t. Thinking about someone you have feelings for, particularly someone you were in a relationship with, is natural, explains Angela Sitka, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Santa Rosa, California. If those thoughts control your daily life and influence your behaviors, however, you may want to become intentional about taking that person off your mind. “Some red flags that you may need some extra support [forgetting someone] is making (unwanted) outreach attempts, constantly finding ways to bring them up in unrelated conversations, or looking excessively at [their] old photos and social media.” If this is your case, you can stop thinking about that someone by: spending time on self-care
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The figure Christ himself bears many of the temperaments and personality traits of a Pisces, and is thus considered an archetype of the Piscean.
Read More »Interrupting your fantasy with reality Sitka says it’s not uncommon for unrequited love to involve detailed fantasies about the uninterested party. You may have imagined your wedding with this person, for example, or have planned out where you’ll live, how many children you’ll have, and what you might name those children. You might also fantasize about them reaching out to you or about scenarios where you may run into each other. These fantasies may make it harder for you to stop thinking about them. How to interrupt your fantasy with reality “It’s important to remember that while our imagination may have created an idealized image of this person as our perfect partner, this is not reality,” Sitka explains. She recommends working around one question to help bring yourself out of fantasy cycles: “How could they be your perfect partner when one of the most important qualities of your perfect partner should be that they are available and interested in being a partner to you?” Writing this question down in a journal, or having a visual reminder on a note, can help bring it to mind when you can’t stop thinking about someone. Refocusing on yourself It’s natural when someone holds your interest to feel drawn to the things they’re passionate about, maybe even feeling as though you’re also passionate about those things. “All of the sudden, you are listening to their favorite bands, wearing the jersey of their favorite sports teams, and making social media posts about anything you think might catch their interest,” says Sitka. But focusing on what they might like may keep you from engaging in what you’re passionate about. How to refocus “Whether this is returning to a previous hobby or picking up a new one, showing yourself that there are other things outside of this person that bring happiness will help you feel less reliant on them,” says Joondeph-Breidbart. If you’re unsure where to start, you can begin by listing what your passions and hobbies were before you became interested in that person. Setting aside time daily or weekly to explore that list can help reintroduce you to the hobbies, interests, and events that are important to you. Expressing your feelings and moving forward “Sometimes the feelings about a person are so strong that we need an outlet to release these feelings from our body and minds to truly move on,” Sitka indicates. How to grieve the fantasy and move on For many people, Sitka says this emotional release is a form of grieving and response to rejection. It’s a process that can be different for everyone. “You might need to allow yourself some tears, yell into a pillow or write a long letter to your crush saying all the things you would never say to their face, and then destroy the letter,” says Sitka. Expressing your emotions in a safe space can help you find relief and peace of mind. Is it possible to stop loving someone? Yes, you can stop loving someone. Love needs to be fed and fueled to survive. When you stop learning about the other person, discontinue contact, place your energy somewhere else, and reflect on the reasons why you may not be together, love may start to fade. If your feelings are toward someone unavailable, holding onto them may continue to cause you emotional pain and might damage any other relationship you do have with them or their partner. Is this love? Many times, explains Sitka, “love” isn’t what you’re experiencing when you can’t stop thinking about someone, especially if you barely know them. “The feelings we can develop for an unrequited love can be quite intense, but it is different from real love,” she says. “One-sided infatuations cannot ever develop into love because real love requires a connection with the real person.” That doesn’t mean one-sided love is impossible. You could love someone you know deeply, even if they don’t feel the same toward you. If your love is based on the reality of who the other person is, not an ideal image you’ve built in your head, it’s probably real love. But if this real love is unreciprocated, you may be hurting yourself by thinking about them constantly. It may be important to find a way to stop focusing your heart and mind on this person and open yourself to the possibility of finding someone who feels the same for you.
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