Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Atahan Demir
surprise "Eyes wide and alert -- may serve as a conversational punctuator or indicate surprise, fear, wonder or, more likely, enthusiasm and genuine interest.
Astro talk: 3 Zodiac signs that believe in love at first sight Leo. Leos are die-hard romantic. They know a person is one of them at first sight....
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It's normal for kids to swear at one time or another. Young kids will often repeat something they've heard. Older kids often want to test their...
Read More »"We use a number of 'see' phrases all the time," says Johanna Hunsaker, "and for good reason: 'I see what you mean.' 'We see eye-to-eye on this.' 'I've got the picture.' "Those are positive images, but there are a lot of negatives, too: 'If looks could kill.' 'The icy stare.' 'Her eyes were shooting daggers.' And the romantic: 'She has bedroom eyes.' 'Making eyes at each other.' 'Drink to me with thine eyes.' " The eyes have it, as far as Hunsaker, associate professor of organizational behavior at the University of San Diego, is concerned. Verbal communication, she says, "only carries 7 percent of the total message in a conversation." The balance of the message is communicated "nonverbally, involuntarily and subconsciously," through body language and, Hunsaker suggests, most specifically through the eyes. When verbal and nonverbal messages are in conflict, people almost automatically give credence to what it is your body and eyes are saying, as opposed to what your words are. The words are not as important. If someone asks you, for example, "Do you understand what IRAs are?," whatever your verbal response, if you do know what they are and you recall what the mental image is, Hunsaker says your eyes will move up and to the left. If you don't know what IRAs are, but don't want to admit it, you'll likely look straight ahead. "If you are very familiar with IRAs," says Hunsaker, "like, 'Of course I know what they are,' your eyes will move down and to the right." Your eyes can reveal lies, too, says Hunsaker. "If someone says, 'Weren't you supposed to walk the dog?,' and you didn't, your eyes will indicate you feel guilty. Even though you might deny it, your eyes will move in an effort not to see the image mentally. You'll try to hide the fact of it from yourself, and so your eye language won't change and you'll try not to have eye contact with the other person." While body language per se can be controlled to a certain extent, says Hunsaker, "your eyes move involuntarily in response to stimuli -- questions and statements -- others make and are the result of brain processes you can't control." Eye movement, she says, can reveal different emotions you can't control. "If you're fearful or anxious, your eyes will be tense and open. If you meet someone in an interesting situation and you're attracted to them, your eyes become alert, they widen." The person sending the nonverbal message is doing so unconsciously, and the person being spoken to is taking in and processing the unspoken message unconsciously. Consciously or unconsciously, insists Hunsaker, you can be sure those messages are being sent and received.
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Read More »"If knowledge is power," says Hunsaker, who has been studying human behavior for the past 15 years, "watching eye and body language specifically can give you more power, help you assess where people really are coming from and give you a true picture of their beliefs and attitudes. You'll know where you stand." Among the facial and eye movements catalogued by Hunsaker, and their probable meanings: "Eye contact -- a positive function indicating the desire to communicate. Prolonged eye contact, however, can be an indication of coldness, rudeness, anger and dislike. "When you don't have eye contact," says Hunsaker, "it indicates disinterest or a desire to terminate contact, as in a conversation when you look away." "Avoidance of eye contact -- indicative of suspicion, lying, distrust, doubt or fear of social contact. "Breaking eye contact -- most often means that the person either is bored or is trying to concentrate on something without being distracted. It often is accompanied by very slow blinking, what might be described as "staring off into space." "Rapid blinking -- as much as 100 times a minute (the normal blinking rate is 6 to 10 times a minute) indicates that the person is very anxious. Says Hunsaker, "Sometimes the person is attempting to cut off reality by cutting off their vision." "Eyes wide and alert -- may serve as a conversational punctuator or indicate surprise, fear, wonder or, more likely, enthusiasm and genuine interest. "Eye direction -- offers a clear indicator of mood. Downward-cast eyes may be a sign of modesty or sadness; upward movement of the eyes may mean fatigue or be a reaction to unexpected, unusual behavior of another; frequent focusing to the left signals that a person's thought processes are based on emotion and subjectivity; frequent focusing to the right is a sign that one's thoughts are based on logic and facts. "Raised and tense lower eyelids -- may signal either anger or sadness. The "look" often is one of cold-hearted staring. "Pupil dilation -- probably "the most subtle of the eye movements," says Hunsaker, "and almost never is consciously used." It indicates either emotional or physiological arousal or attentiveness.
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