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What does healthy flirting look like?

Healthy flirting is fun, frivolous, entertaining and makes everyone laugh and feel good. It makes people feel focussed on, important, attractive and in general it has a strong positive and playful vibe to it.

timesofindia.indiatimes.com - Which kind of flirt are you? - Times of India
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Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats. Her prolific career spans the worlds of film, television, advertising, media, digital media and entertainment. She has authored “Timepass” (Penguin, top 10 national bestseller 2000) as well as a real life story on female foeticide titled, “born to die”, in the book, “Because I am a girl” (Random house). Through this multiple award winning column, “Heart Chakra”, this liberated, modern, free-thinking individual offers her readers an out of the box, open-minded perspective to relationships. She believes, “when you change your thinking, you change your attitude, and when you change your attitude, you change your life”. She also conducts “HAPPY SOUL” workshops which amalgamate science and spirituality, and lend to healing and empowering people to being the best versions of themselves. She also champions the cause of safe sex, HIV awareness, breast cancer, Poverty Housing, female foeticide and infanticide, and epitomises a woman who constantly seeks to change and take from strength to strength, not just herself, but the world around her. She has been awarded multiple times for all her avatars, be it as a person, a professional and a humanitarian. LESS ... MORE There are two types of flirting, healthy flirting and flirting with intent. Healthy flirting is fun, frivolous, entertaining and makes everyone laugh and feel good. It makes people feel focussed on, important, attractive and in general it has a strong positive and playful vibe to it. It wakes people up from emotional inertia and reminds them that life, relationships and even parties can be far from monotonous if they ignite those aspects of themselves. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or married, because healthy flirting is innocent, spirited and fun. I see so many people wary of flirtation. I see so many couples raise eyebrows if one was to healthily flirt or be flirted with. That’s also because with being a couple comes a sense of ownership and the jealousy of your partner being “poached” by others. Firstly, it’s important to realise that jealousy only means you don’t trust your partner. If your partner were to cheat it wouldn’t be in public over laughing and banter. Body language, tonality and words used are what differentiate healthy flirting and flirting with intent. “Intent”, is when the objective is to carry the vibe forward from the party to the bedroom. That’s what singles thrive on (and rightfully so), and what married people should really be doing only with their spouses. I can tell you from experience that there is a huge difference in the two types of flirting. Intent based flirting is almost always clear from the very beginning. You can see it in their eyes, sense it in their touch and also in how they say whatever they say. If you’re single you can choose to soak in the charm and vibration of it and simply enjoy it or walk away from it if it makes you uncomfortable. Both kinds of flirtation are acceptable and even necessary in their appropriate spaces, but I can also tell you, that flirting with “intent” is hugely disrespectful to your partner and also the person you are flirting with if you are in a relationship or married. It shows you don’t value your vows, and also that you see the other person as someone who will not only compromise their value systems but also be willing to settle for being an “illicit good time”. So put on your choice of flirting hat, but just know it takes more than a wink, more than a drink and more than you think, to be a good flirt.

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I am a 34-year-old man and have been looking for a bride for myself for the past couple of years. I have met many but none of them seems to be the one I can settle down with. This has started affecting me and I am getting depressed. I have tried talking to my friends and other members in the family who say it is completely fine if I don’t get married. However I wish to. What should I do?

There is nothing worse than marrying for the sake of marriage and then not being compatible with the person for the rest of your life. Marriage is more than just a lifestyle or need. It requires that the person be the right person for you. It’s never too late to be married, but it’s too late if you marry the wrong person and the right one comes along!

I am a 26-year-old woman and have been dating this guy for the past 2 years. However, he is from a different community and my parents aren’t ready to get me married to him. I too don’t wish to see my parents hurt and would want to move on. But he doesn’t seem to understand and often threatens me that he would kill himself. I don’t know what to do. Can you please help me out?

The very fact that he threatens violence and suicide is a sign to move ahead. You don’t need someone who will blackmail, pressure or arm twist you into a life-long commitment. Simply become boring, irritating, and whiny. He will automatically start moving away.

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I have been married for a few months now. Before the marriage everything was fine for the two of us but for the past couple of days, my husband has started acting strange. He comes home very late in the night and often tells me that he is tired of me and doesn’t wish to stay with me anymore. I have moved to a different city post marriage and literally know no one here. I am scared he might just leave me one fine day. What should I do?

Sit him down and tell him you have no issues with separating, but you deserve respect and honesty. If there’s another woman, you need to be told so that you know it’s not you that’s the issue, and if there is personality incompatibility, you’d like to be told so that you can also identify the areas of conflict. It’s better to be clear and exit before kids come into the picture, and both of you lead miserable, sacrificing lives forever.

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timesofindia.indiatimes.com - Which kind of flirt are you? - Times of India
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