Two Kisses: Spain, Italy, Greece, Germany, Hungary, Romania, Croatia, Bosnia, Brazil (though, like France, the number can differ by region), and some Middle Eastern countries (though not between opposite sexes)
Last spring, my wife grazed lips with a co-worker.
In Europe on business, she sounded a bit shaken when I called to check in.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I…almost kissed my boss on the mouth,” she said.
“What?” I sputtered. “Is Paris really that enchanting?”
Turns out, she was not admitting to a clandestine managerial makeout session. She simply fell victim, as many Americans do, to that slippery social tradition around the world: the kiss greeting.
Perhaps you’ve witnessed it in a Roman piazza between close friends, or on a beach in Rio de Janeiro among new acquaintances, and found yourself confused about its meaning. Unlike a simple handshake or hug, circumstances that warrant the cheek kiss differ by culture, and the logistics are equally as varied: In Spain, one kiss on each cheek is common; in some parts of Afghanistan, it’s customary to kiss up to eight times. All this to say that the cheek kiss is more art than science. For world travelers, a basic understanding of how it works is essential—make the wrong move and you risk offending the other person. Below is a rough guide to keep you from accidentally swapping spit with a well-meaning local.
The Origins
In his new book One Kiss or Two: In Search of the Perfect Greeting, career diplomat Andy Scott speculates on the origins of the cheek-kissing tradition: “In his Epistle to the Romans, St. Paul instructed followers to ‘salute one another with a holy kiss.’ And so the ‘holy kiss’ became a common greeting among early Christians and a central part of Catholic ceremony.”
Over time, it’s possible that the biblical lip-to-lip salutation evolved into a kiss on the cheek, which would explain why the kiss greeting is popular in many densely Catholic countries. While the practice is also commonplace in parts of the Middle East and Asia, it’s ubiquitous in Latin America and continental Europe.
Scott traces the kiss back to a peasant custom that was adopted by elites once lower classes began migrating into cities, suggesting that travelers are more likely to encounter kiss greetings in rural towns and villages than their metropolitan counterparts.
The Cheat Sheet
Not only is it worthwhile to know where you might have to turn a cheek, but it’s helpful to know just how many kisses to expect. In France alone, the count varies dramatically by region, according to a 2014 web survey of more than 100,000 citizens: Parisians consider two kisses the norm, while three is standard in Provence, and four throughout the Loire Valley. Here’s the common count for a sampling of other countries:
One Kiss: Colombia, Argentina, Chile, Peru, the Philippines
Colombia, Argentina, Chile, Peru, the Philippines Two Kisses: Spain, Italy, Greece, Germany, Hungary, Romania, Croatia, Bosnia, Brazil (though, like France, the number can differ by region), and some Middle Eastern countries (though not between opposite sexes)
Spain, Italy, Greece, Germany, Hungary, Romania, Croatia, Bosnia, Brazil (though, like France, the number can differ by region), and some Middle Eastern countries (though not between opposite sexes) Three Kisses: Belgium, Slovenia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Egypt, and Russia (where it’s accompanied by a bear hug)
The Logistics
A kiss, by name, has its charming differences—it's el beso in Spain, beijnhos in Portugal, beijos in Brazil, and beso-beso in the Philippines—but the logistics are fairly straightforward. You start by leaning in and placing right cheek to right cheek, before moving to the left side—and back and forth thereafter if additional pecks are required. The primary exception is Italy, which starts il bacio on the left.
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This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta . Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of date coaching experience, Laura specializes in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. She is the host of the Dating and Relationship Radio Talk Show on AM640 and on Apple Podcasts. She is also the author of "Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks To Love & Lifemates, Tales & Tips To Attract Your Perfect Match." This article has been viewed 827,598 times.
Article Summary
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If you want to get a guy to kiss you, freshen your breath first. Brush your teeth and swish some mouthwash or use a breath mint. Put on some lip balm or gloss to make your lips soft and kissable. Pick a time and place where you and your guy friend can be alone together for a while. Once you’re together, be confident and friendly with him. Chat for a while and wait for a moment when you’re both feeling happy and relaxed. Then, move closer to him and see what he does. If he moves away, he’s probably not ready. On the other hand, if he leans in, he might be interested in a kiss. Touch his hand or arm, make eye contact, and move your face close to his. He might take the hint and kiss you right then. If he doesn’t, try saying something like, “You know what? I’d love it if you kissed me right now.” To learn how to get a guy to kiss you by flirting with your eyes, keep reading!
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