Soulmate Gem
Photo by Tatiana Syrikova Pexels Logo Photo: Tatiana Syrikova

What causes you to fall in love?

According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg's psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.

How do I stop liking my crush?
How do I stop liking my crush?

If you're having a hard time moving on, these 14 tips can help. Accept your feelings. ... Give it time. ... Consider your crush from a realistic...

Read More »
Can you kiss in a friendship?
Can you kiss in a friendship?

As long as both parties agree and set parameters, experts say kissing or showing other displays of affection with friends is all right – and the...

Read More »

"Love makes the world go 'round," but exactly why do we fall in love?

According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.

Intimacy

Falling in love for intimate reasons can be described as having a basic friendship; it lacks commitment and passion. “Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn’t necessarily have to be for sex,” said Henry. “Sometimes it’s self-serving. Everyone likes to feel cared for and loved. Women want to feel their femininity, and men want to feel their masculinity.” Adele’s song Hello is a perfect example of how intimacy is captured. In the song's chorus, Adele contacts her ex-boyfriend and pours out her heartbreak from the relationship. She explains that many years have passed and she hasn't done much healing. “Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship,” he said.

Passion

Letting ourselves fall in love because of desire or strong feelings for a person is normal. Passionate love is developed as a result of feelings that lead to sexual attraction, physical interest and romance. “When you see someone you like, you are captivated by something that draws you to that person,” explained Henry. “The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes and body.” In the absence of intimacy and commitment, infatuation is developed with the person you love. “People are drawn and quickly develop lust. Some people are obsessed and see that person as a type of object. You can be with someone for years and don’t feel there is commonality between you and that person,” he said.

Commitment

Commitment is complete love. “People who seek commitment want stability and a healthy relationship,” he said. “If people only seek commitment, they may lack sexual attraction and basic friendship interests.” According to Henry, in modern times, young adults are interested in objects more than relationships. “The objectification comes from consumerism,” he explained. “The more consumeristic the culture becomes, the less interest people have in commitments. Some youth are more interested in impressing people they don’t care about. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people.”

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Although it’s common that anyone can relate to Sternberg’s love theory, we all have our personal reasons for falling in love. “Your reason for falling in love doesn’t necessarily need to be explained by science. Some personal needs can be the fear of being alone, social peer pressure, satisfaction or religious values,” Henry said. Despite what psychology has to say about love, the type of love we choose defines who we are. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. “Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can’t give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is very complex.”

What is the first thing a man sees in a woman?
What is the first thing a man sees in a woman?

• A lady's mouth is often the very first part of a woman a guy will see. Not only are great lips and teeth sexy, but guys will look to your mouth...

Read More »
Is 17 too late to learn to draw?
Is 17 too late to learn to draw?

It's never too late to learn how to draw. This advice can be found everywhere in books, online videos, and trumpeted by teachers at all levels. But...

Read More »

How do I stop thinking and liking someone?

12 Necessary Steps To Stop Liking Someone You Can't Have Actually commit to the process. Keep your distance. Take a break from the friendship. Maintain emotional distance. Unfollow them on social media. Avoid triggers. Acknowledge all the reasons it realistically wouldn't work. Focus your energy elsewhere. More items... •

Having a crush is a multifaceted experience. On the one hand, it’s exhilarating to like someone and experience the rush, the sparks, and the butterflies that come with that effervescent feeling. On the other hand, it can be excruciating when you know those feelings can never be acted upon or reciprocated. Whatever the reason may be, there are times when it becomes necessary to try to figure out how to stop liking someone so much. While we can’t control the way we feel, below are some steps you can take to help quiet the intensity of your feelings and start the process of letting go and moving on:

What is China's legal age?
What is China's legal age?

Age of Consent in China The age of consent in mainland China is 14 years old. China's two special administrative regions, Macau and Hong Kong, have...

Read More »
Is a soul tie one sided?
Is a soul tie one sided?

But when you have a soul tie, it's often more of a sign of a one-sided soul tie. The betrayal in this type of relationship is when one person...

Read More »
Is sketching a natural talent?
Is sketching a natural talent?

Drawing is often considered a gift you either have or – as many a frustrated artist will testify – don't have. In fact, say scientists, while some...

Read More »
What's creative arts?
What's creative arts?

Creative arts are a form of expression not bound by language. They involve skill, imagination, and inspiration. The creative arts have been around...

Read More »