Soulmate Gem
Photo by Tatiana Syrikova Pexels Logo Photo: Tatiana Syrikova

What causes people to fall in love?

Romantic love occurs due to a combination of general attraction and social factors. When another person is attracted to you or likes you, that can increase your own liking, leading to romantic love. A potential union that satisfies general social norms can contribute to people falling in love.

What makes a girl fall in love with a guy?
What makes a girl fall in love with a guy?

They desire a sincere, family-oriented, honest, trustworthy, and respectful man. A woman often looks for a man who will treat her with love, care,...

Read More »
Is real love rare?
Is real love rare?

True love is rare; we can only hope to find it once in a lifetime, and maybe not even then. The curve that charts love is very narrow – more like a...

Read More »

A question that receives quite a bit of attention in the psychological literature is why people fall in love. One promising answer is that romantic love occurs when the attributes that generate general attraction and the social factors and circumstances that produce passion are particularly strong.

The general attraction attributes are as follows (Aron, et al. 1989):

Similarity: This includes similarity of people’s beliefs and, to a lesser extent, similarity of personality traits and ways of thinking. Propinquity: This includes familiarity with the other, which can be caused by spending time together, living near each other, thinking about the other, or anticipating interaction with the other. Desirable characteristics: This general attraction attribute is particularly focused on an outer physical appearance that is found desirable and, to a lesser extent, on desirable personality traits. Reciprocal liking: When the other person is attracted to you or likes you, that can increase your own liking. Two further factors that can help explain why people fall in love involve mate selection (Aron, et al. 1989): Social influences: A potential union that satisfies general social norms, as well as acceptance of the potential union within one’s social network, can contribute to people falling in love. By contrast, a union that does not satisfy general social norms or is not accepted by one’s social network can result in people falling out of love. Filling needs: If a person can fulfill needs for companionship, love, sex, or mating, there is a greater chance that the other person will fall in love with him or her. Another five factors seem to be required for the love to be truly passionate as opposed to being a kind of friendship love (Aron, et al. 1989): Arousal/unusualness: Being in an unusual or arousing environment can spark passion, even if the environment is perceived as dangerous or spooky (Dutton & Aron, 1974). Specific cues: A particular feature of the other may spark particularly strong attraction (e.g., parts of their body or facial features). Readiness: The more you want to be in a relationship, the lower your self-esteem and the more likely you are to fall in love. Isolation: Spending time alone with another person can also contribute to the development of passion. Mystery: If there is some mystery surrounding the other person and uncertainty about what the other person thinks or feels, wondering when he or she will initiate contact can also contribute to passion. Aron et al. (1989) examined which of these factors are most prevalent in college students based on their descriptions of their experiences of falling in love. The researchers found that the most frequently mentioned factor preceding experiences of love was finding certain characteristics of the other person desirable, as well as reciprocity of the experienced emotions. There was a moderate frequency of descriptions mentioning the factors that spark passion (e.g., readiness, arousal/unusualness). There was a low to moderate frequency of descriptions of the other person being perceived as similar to the research participant.

Which hair color is the most attractive?
Which hair color is the most attractive?

Blonde is Crowned the Sexiest Hair Colour of 2021! When asked which hair colour they think is sexiest, almost a third of people said they have no...

Read More »
What zodiac is awkward?
What zodiac is awkward?

Some people just prefer being alone over being around too many people and then there are those who just can't say no and end up in a socially...

Read More »

The researchers argue that the self-expansion model proposed in Aron & Aron (1986) predicts this weighing of factors. On the self-expansion model, we have the greatest propensity to fall in love when we perceive the other person as a way for us to undergo rapid self-expansion. Entering a committed relationship requires giving up some of our personal autonomy by including the other person in our life. If the other person possesses desirable characteristics, their presence in our life can be perceived as an expansion of the self rather than a loss of freedom (Aron & Aron, 1996). Work in neuroscience supports these findings in psychology. The neurochemical profile of people who are in love is characterized by low levels of the satiation chemical serotonin (Zeki, 2007). In this respect, the obsessive component of new love makes it similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is unsurprising, then, that several of the passion-generating factors, including arousal/unusualness, readiness, and mystery, correlate both with the propensity to fall in love and with increased anxiety. Blood levels of adrenaline and other stress chemicals are increased by anxiety triggers. As argued by Dutton and Aron (1974), feeling increased levels of adrenaline is sometimes mistaken for a feeling of being in love with a person. Dutton and Aron (1974) found that more men fell in love with an attractive female interviewer when she asked them questions in anxiety-provoking situations (a fear-arousing suspension bridge) compared to calm situations (a non-fear arousing bridge). So, even in the absence of most of the other predictors of the onset of romantic love, meeting someone in an anxiety-provoking situation can cause us to fall in love with that person. Another interesting feature of love is that a felt proximity to a new lover creates higher levels of the reward and motivation chemical dopamine, whereas distance can lead to cravings. Aron et al (2005) used functional magnetic resonance imaging to study people who were intensely in love from between 1 and 17 months. The subjects viewed a photograph of their beloved and then, after a distraction-attention task, they viewed a photograph of a familiar individual. The researchers found heightened brain activation in the right ventral tegmental area and the right postero-dorsal body and medial caudate nucleus—dopamine-rich areas associated with reward and motivation—in response to the photographs of the individual the subject was in love with. So, when you are in love, the imagined or actual presence of the beloved is rewarding and motivating. The self-expansion model proposed by Aron & Aron (1986) can explain be used to explain this result: When a person conceives of their love interest and him- or herself forming a tight union, the desirable characteristics of the beloved trigger a reward response. This can prompt us to go out of our way to be with our potential partner in order to experience the most intense feeling of reward.

How do you tell if a guy wants a serious relationship?
How do you tell if a guy wants a serious relationship?

25 Undeniable Signs He Wants A Relationship With You There's No Chasing. Save. ... He Opens Up To You. ... He Respects Your Boundaries. ... He...

Read More »
What does it mean when a guy hugs you tight around the waist?
What does it mean when a guy hugs you tight around the waist?

The 'Grasp On Waist' Hug This kind of intimate hug suggests that you share a very close bond with your partner where there is love, trust, and lots...

Read More »

The self-expansion model also predicts that the similarity and propinquity factors should have a paradoxical effect in initial stages of falling in love but should have a more significant influence on the duration of love (Acevedo & Aron, 2009). The main reason is that familiarity and similarity make it less likely that the other person will constitute an expansion of you, once you include him or her in your life. These predictions are consistent with findings in neuroscience. Low levels of serotonin are likely counteracted by similarity and familiarity, which can prevent people from falling in love (Zeki, 2007). At later stages of a love relationship, however, these same factors may correlate with higher levels of the attachment and bonding chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin, which have been shown to increase during the phase of a love relationship that fosters romantic attachment and pair bonding (Zeki, 2007).

How can I look seductive without trying?
How can I look seductive without trying?

How To Look Seductive Without Trying: 6 Tips To Being Effortlessly Sexy Wear a Touch of Red. Don't underestimate the power of color! ... Show Off...

Read More »
What makes a girl attractive face?
What makes a girl attractive face?

Wide eyes, full cheeks, and a refined nose are essential features of a good looking face. However, facial beauty is more than the sum of these...

Read More »
Why do men fall in love first?
Why do men fall in love first?

As for the actual act of saying "I love you," Neil believes men tend to get there first because, once again, women are generally more risk-averse:...

Read More »
What zodiacs are players?
What zodiacs are players?

5 zodiac signs that are good at sports. Sports is a part of everyone's life at a different intensity. ... Aries. Answerinf to Which zodiac signs...

Read More »