Soulmate Gem
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What causes attraction in girls?

Emotional attraction is all about how you make another person FEEL. It can be triggered in a variety of ways: through touch, pheromones, body language, behavior, the tone of your voice, humor, confidence, and vulnerability. (Vulnerability is a really big one.)

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So let's get to the interesting stuff now: emotional attraction and how to build it with another person. Emotional attraction is all about how you make another person FEEL. It can be triggered in a variety of ways: through touch, pheromones, body language, behavior, the tone of your voice, humor, confidence, and vulnerability. (Vulnerability is a really big one.) You see, all these things are not that enticing to talk about because they're not as practical as telling someone, “Hey, just go to the gym five times a week, develop six-pack abs, and women are going to want you!” (Even though that's total bullshit, not true, and I'm living proof of that.) Emotions are also weird and sometimes difficult to understand. For example, it's much better usually to elicit a negative emotion in a person than to trigger no emotion whatsoever. The worst situation, especially in romance, is the middle. It's when you stay in that weird gray area where people are just indifferent about you.

Why is that? Why is it better to trigger a negative emotion than no emotion whatsoever?

To fall in love, people need to have a mental image of you. You can't fall in love with another person if you don't have a mental image of them. If you don't even think about another person, then there can't be any chance for love. A negative emotion seems like a worse outcome than just staying in the neutral zone where people don't think negatively or positively about you. In reality, even if someone feels a negative emotion towards you, they're going to think about you a lot. They're going to think, “Oh, that asshole. Why did he say that? He's such an arrogant prick.” We have all seen it countless times in movies, and maybe you've also seen it in real life: where the woman is a real sweetheart, and theoretically, she'd be so happy with any of the nice guys that all want her, but she still picks the asshole that every other guy knows is going to break her heart. We know the rest of the situation and still she chooses him. The only reason for that is because he is able to trigger an emotional response in her and emotions are ALWAYS exciting.

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What a real connection feels like?

An emotional connection is a feeling of alignment and intimacy between two people that goes beyond just physical attraction, having fun together, surface-level conversations, or even intellectual similarities. Instead, it feels like you're connecting on a deeper soul level—and feel secure connecting that deeply.

An emotional connection is a feeling of alignment and intimacy between two people that goes beyond just physical attraction, having fun together, surface-level conversations, or even intellectual similarities. Instead, it feels like you're connecting on a deeper soul level—and feel secure connecting that deeply. "Just like children, adults need to feel a secure attachment to another adult," couples therapist Josie Rosario, LMSW, MSed, explains to mbg. "That means it's important for us to know that someone will be consistently available, especially in time of physical or emotional needs." Think of it this way: This type of connection imbues the relationship with emotional texture, adding an essential feeling of security that establishes a foundation for genuine intimacy to blossom. When we feel unsafe to let down our guard, the bond between couples can be superficial at best. "As humans, the need for emotional connection is wired into our survival," adds licensed psychologist Justine Grosso, Psy.D. "It helps us feel a greater sense of belonging, which facilitates general well-being."

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