What causes a crush?

Psychologically speaking, crushes occur when a person of any age projects their ideas and values onto another person whom they believe possesses certain attributes and with whom they want to be associated. Then, the person with the crush attaches strong positive feelings to this magical image that they have created.

arraybc.com - The Psychology of Love and Crushes - Array Behavioral Care

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In 1992, a pair of anthropologists set out to survey 166 of the world’s societies about their particular experience with romantic love. They found that 147 expressed very similar feelings of associated with love (the remaining 19 were not counted because of discrepancies in the questioning, not because there was any negative feedback). Love is a universal human experience—and one for which the scientific community has found many psychological and physiological explanations. The potent chemical cocktail that you feel when under the influence of romantic love is dominated by dopamine and is associated with certain areas of the brain, including the striatum, also known as the brain’s “pleasure center.” Dopamine release is causes some of the most wonderful feelings of the human experience, like enjoyment, contentment and satisfaction.

The love functions in the brain

Romantic love also activates areas in the brain, primarily the insula, associated with motivation to acquire a reward, gives value to certain pleasurable, life-sustaining human activities. Essentially, the theory is that our brain creates this sense of euphoria (i.e. love) in order to ensure the continuation of our species. But what about the earliest form of romantic love—the inevasible and indescribable crush. “Crushes,” as we think of them, are often associated with teenagers—and for good reason. The sweaty palms, racing heart and flushed cheeks are symptoms much associated with awkward cafeteria encounters and passed notes in study hall. Romantic crushes often occur in the early teenage years, and they are an important (though sometimes insufferable) experience to go through. By this time, young people are leaving their childhood years and entering adolescence. They want to act more grown up, and puberty has sent them into a sexual maturity that differentiates them into acting in more manly or womanly ways. Psychologically speaking, crushes occur when a person of any age projects their ideas and values onto another person whom they believe possesses certain attributes and with whom they want to be associated. Then, the person with the crush attaches strong positive feelings to this magical image that they have created. It is a powerful mixture of idealization and infatuation. The brain chemicals associated with crushes can wreak havoc (or pure bliss, depending on your point of view) on a person for up to two years. If a powerful crush lasts longer than two years, it may actually be what psychologists call limerence. This condition can be defined as “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation; obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings and behaviors; and emotional dependence on another person.” Symptoms include uncontrollable thoughts, extreme nervousness and trouble breathing. If you experience any of these symptoms for a prolonged period of time, you should consult a doctor. But for most of us, crushes don’t evolve into something that needs medical attention, so you don’t need to worry too much. Crushes are a very normal, healthy part of human experience. The next time you fall for someone and think, "I can't get them out of my head!" you have brain chemistry to thank for that!

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How do you kiss passionately in bed?

Feel what your partner is doing with their mouth and try to copy their movements. Let yourself linger between kisses. Kiss your partner once, slowly, letting it last for a few seconds. Then slowly draw your lips away, keeping them close enough to your partner's lips so that they are almost touching (but aren't).

wikihow.com - How to Kiss Passionately: 13 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller . Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach based in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills and relationships. He runs his own dating consulting and coaching service named Conquer and Win, the only BBB accredited dating coaching business in Vancouver. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others. This article has been viewed 5,127,525 times.

Article Summary

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To kiss passionately, try starting out slow and gentle, then ramping up the intensity. For example, you might start with a long, lingering kiss on the lips. Then pull back a little bit, so that your lips are still almost touching your partner’s, and wait a few seconds to build the anticipation for the next kiss. Next, try opening your lips slightly and see if your partner responds by doing the same. If so, you can try lightly touching their lips or tongue with the tip of your tongue, and eventually progressing to a deeper French kiss. You can also try gently nibbling your partner’s bottom lip or kissing their jaw, neck, or shoulder. Remember, kissing isn’t just about what you do with your lips. To really boost the heat level, get your hands involved, too. Try running your hands through your partner’s hair, caressing their face or body, or wrapping your arms around them and holding them close while you kiss. To learn how to increase the passion in your kiss with necking, read on!

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