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What are the universal love languages?

What are the love languages? We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. These are called 'love languages' - a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor.

familycentre.org - 5 Different Ways to Show Love and Improve Your Relationship: Blog
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5 Different Ways to Show Love and Improve Your Relationship

Have you ever questioned whether your partner still loves you? You’re not alone. You also might be speaking a different love language than your partner.

What are the love languages?

We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. These are called ‘love languages’ - a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor.

Words of affirmation

When words of affirmation is your love language, words build you up. You thrive on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism can bother you for a long time.

Acts of Service

Anything that your partner does willingly to ease your workload is a sign of love to you. You feel cared for when your partner vacuums before you get to it or makes you breakfast as a surprise. On the other hand, broken promises or laziness can make you feel unimportant.

Receiving gifts

When you speak this love language, a thoughtful gift shows to you that you are special. In contrast, generic gifts and forgotten special events have the opposite effect. This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic – it could be as simple as receiving your favourite snack after a bad day.

Quality time

To you, nothing says you’re loved like undivided attention. When your partner is truly present (and not looking at their phone), it makes you feel important. Failure to actively listen or long periods without one-on-one time can make you feel unloved.

Physical touch

Holding hands, kisses, hugs, and other touches are your preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety, while physical neglect can drive a wedge between you and your partner.

How love languages can improve your relationships

Most of us have one or two preferred love languages – often different than our significant other's. If you express your love through your preferred love language, the chances are that it goes unnoticed by your partner.

Say that your love language is gifts, and you often surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts. How does it make you feel when they just have a quick look at your thoughtful present? Meanwhile, your partner hardly values gifts but appreciates acts of service. It would mean the world to them if you did chores around the house instead of buying gifts. Is your partner feeling loved?

Learning to speak your partner’s preferred language can drastically strengthen your relationship. You can do the free love languages test on the 5 love languages website. Love languages apply to non-romantic relationships as well, and the website includes tests for children and teens.

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What two love languages are most compatible?

Quality time and words of affirmation Quality time and physical touch are two love languages that are extremely compatible in terms of showing affection and physical attraction.

glam.com - The Love Language Pairings That Work The Best Together - Glam

The Love Language Pairings That Work The Best Together

When we give and receive love from our partners, it can appear in different forms. Some of us prefer to be showered with words of affection, while others prefer our significant other to show us their love by helping with daily tasks. No matter your preference, it is beneficial for both partners to know the other's love language. Because if you exchange love in different ways, it's easy to get wires crossed and accidentally leave one partner feeling lonely, unappreciated, or that the relationship is one-sided. According to Gary Chapman, creator of this concept, we tend to speak five love languages: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation (via 5 Love Languages). Knowing your significant other's love language can help you show them affection in their preferred way and understand their needs. This can improve communication and the overall quality of your relationship (via Psych Central). Plus, it provides great inspiration for significant others wanting to spoil their partners. Of course, knowing is only half the battle. Ideally, your love languages will complement each other so that affection can flow freely in your relationship. With that in mind, are there love languages that work better together than others? While any match-up can be successful with a little effort, these may be the love language pairings that gel naturally from the start.

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