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What are the patterns of a narcissist?

Typically, narcissists follow a pattern of three stages in romantic relationships; love bombing, devaluation, and discarding.

amylaunder.com - Relationship Patterns of a Narcissist - Amy Launder Psychotherapy

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What is Narcissism?

We’ve spent some time looking at how being raised by a narcissist can impact you as an adult, and what signs to look out for if you feel like the person that you are dating is a narcissist. Today, we are taking a further look into the general relationship patterns that a narcissist will follow. Before we begin, I feel that it is important to note that anyone can have one or two narcissistic traits, but it doesn’t mean that they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists nine criteria for NPD to be diagnosed: grandiose sense of self-importance preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love the belief they are special and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with other special or high-status people or institutions need for excessive admiration sense of entitlement interpersonally exploitative behaviour lack of empathy envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes. Typically, narcissists follow a pattern of three stages in romantic relationships; love bombing, devaluation, and discarding. The length of each stage and each cycle will depend on the person and the particular relationship, and perhaps what is going on in their lives outside of the relationship as well, but generally, the pattern seems to fit.

Love Bombing

Love bombing comes first and is the stage at the beginning of the relationship in which the person showers you with attention and affection. They might plan extravagant dates, buy you gifts, be great at keeping in contact, and so on. It is the Hollywood romance that you’ve always dreamt of. The narcissist, during this stage, will tell you how great you are, that you’re the only one who understands them, and that you mean everything to them. You will likely feel amazing during this stage of the relationship and will likely start to form a strong attachment to them and the relationship. You might be thinking that this sounds great and there is nothing wrong with it, however it is only the beginning. One of the warning signs is that the narcissist will be quick to profess their love for you, and keen to move on to the next stage of the relationship. They might propose moving in together, getting married, having kids, or a combination of these within a matter of weeks or months.

Common phrases in this stage of the relationship will include:

- “I’ve never met anyone like you before”

- “No one gets me like you do.”

- “We don’t need anyone else.”

- “You’re my soul mate”

- “We’ll be together forever”

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What is the body language of a narcissist?

Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.

businessinsider.com - 7 ways to tell if you're talking to a psychopath or a narcissist

Researchers and other experts have pinpointed some key behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths in conversation.

Those behaviors include repeating the same false stories and using offensive language.

Remember though: Even if you recognize some of these signs in a friend or coworker, you should leave the diagnosis to a mental-health professional. Generally speaking, you shouldn't walk around looking to diagnose your friends and coworkers as psychopaths and narcissists. If someone looks over your shoulder while you're talking or seems weirdly distant, there's a good chance they're just having an off day and don't have a pathological problem. That said, if you notice a pattern of unusual behavior, it might very well warrant more attention. We looked into the scientific literature and some expert insights to find out the most common conversational behaviors associated with psychopathy and narcissism. Read on to see if you've noticed any of the following in people you know — or in yourself.

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