Soulmate Gem
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk Pexels Logo Photo: Pavel Danilyuk

What are the chances I meet my soulmate?

While mathematical estimates have determined that the odds you'll find your soul mate during your lifetime are 1 in 10,000, that figure doesn't take into account the fact that 9,891 of those people probably live in place you will never conceivably go (Sorry, soul mate #4,302.

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Calculator shows you what the chances of finding a soul mate in your city are

Culture By Isabelle Kohn

While mathematical estimates have determined that the odds you'll find your soul mate during your lifetime are 1 in 10,000, that figure doesn't take into account the fact that 9,891 of those people probably live in place you will never conceivably go (Sorry, soul mate #4,302. Mama can't afford airfare to Mongolia). Thankfully, a new tool has been developed that promises to help you figure out the odds of meeting "the one" somewhere more convenient — like in your own city. Or at least close to it. Using population and demographic data, as well mathematical research on how probable certain compatibility factors are, this soul mate calculator — created by the makers of the film "Less Than One,"a film project that places a mathematical lens on the probability of finding a soul mate — will chew up your personal preferences and spit them out into a hard number that lets you know just how valid your romantic desperation really is. I entered my info into the Los Angeles algorithm, and guess fucking what, world? There are 5.5 perfect people for me somewhere in this city. Gonna start knocking on doors just as soon as I bleach my asshole. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Soul mates are stupid! They're a mythical, unattainable standard perpetuated by over-romanticized Hollywood happy endings that create unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction in the dating world!"

Well, turns out you're half right about that.

Although some research has definitively shown that soulmates do exist in the Hollywood sense, an equal amount of data has demonstrated that they're more of a crock-of-shit construct than a real romantic reality. One project conducted by an ex-NASA roboticist named Randall Munroe determined that the concept was a bunch of bunk-ass shit because, as his research shows, there are about 5,000,000,000 people, living or dead, who are statistically likely to satisfy your soul mate criteria. In his opinion, the concept of having a soul mate is bullshit, because it implies that there is just one person, or maybe a handful of people, out they're who you're truly meant to be with, when in fact that's wrong — you have half a billion. Sure, some of them have been dead for three thousand years, and some haven't been born yet, but ... love's not easy, man. A much better way to look at the concept of soul mate comes from Shauna H Springer, a psychologist and relationship and lifestyle researcher. As she told Bustle, "While I do not believe there is such a thing as 'finding your perfectly matched soul mate,' I’ve seen plenty of evidence that we can become each other’s soul mates as the result of a deep and lasting love relationship. Although you and what's-his-face who you've been sing might not start out as soul mates in the Hollywood sense of the word, it's possible to become perfect for each other as your relationship progresses.

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Over time, "the partnership has become so multifaceted and the compatibilities so intricately dovetailed that one's spouse could never be replaced by anyone else," she says. "Two individuals who have become perfect for and irreplaceable to each other have become soul mates. In this way, soul mates become each other’s 'one in a billion perfect match.'” Ah, yes. I like that idea much better. I'm going to expand that 5.5 number from earlier into, say, 5,500 and just act like less of an asshole — I'm bound to find my perfect long-haired dominant Dad that way.

Thanks, internet!

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