Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Yogendra Singh
Ages 13 to 17 "From a developmental perspective, around 16-years-old is around the time we begin having the capacity to experience our first real relationship." According to the Pew Research Center, 35 percent of teens ages 13 to 17 have been in a romantic relationship.
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Read More »How old were you during your first relationship? Whether it was a hand-holding middle school love, a head-over-heels college moment, or a let's-move-in-together-right-now thing in your late 20s, the age when you first started dating can say a lot about you. Or, at the very least, about the factors that were going on around you. "Our age during the first romantic relationship appears to be more dependent upon the quality and length of our relationships with our friends during our teenage years than personality factors," licensed psychologist Dr. Danielle Forshee, tells Bustle. "Our personality is not truly formed until adulthood, and even then, can change as the years pass and we have more life experiences." It is interesting to think about why some folks have relationships while they're younger, while others take more time. But the thing to keep in mind is it doesn't really matter. "There’s no right time to get into your first relationship," relationship expert Lily Womble, founder of Date Brazen, tells Bustle. If you're looking for a relationship, put yourself out there, and meet the right person, it can happen at any age — whether you're 18, 25, or beyond. Below, ages have been broken down into brackets based on common experience. Thirteen to 17 are the teen years, 18 to 24 are the college years or when a person might kick off their career, and 25 to 30 (plus) are the young adult years. Here's what it all might mean, according to experts. 1 Ages 13 to 17 Andrew Zaeh for Bustle "Personality develops during childhood and throughout adolescence and starts to crystallize during early adulthood," Dr. Forshee says. "From a developmental perspective, around 16-years-old is around the time we begin having the capacity to experience our first real relationship." According to the Pew Research Center, 35 percent of teens ages 13 to 17 have been in a romantic relationship. And that might have something to do with how supportive their friend groups are. While not everyone is ready to have their first relationship in their teens, if you found love at this age it may have been because of your friends. "By this age, people have had a lot of practice with managing their friendship relationships, which helps build self-esteem, teaches us how to deal with arguments, [and] gives us practice with managing emotions and making decisions," Dr. Forshee says. 2 Ages 18 to 24 Andrew Zaeh for Bustle Those same teenage friendships may have set you up for a healthy relationship as you entered into your 20s, too. "Research indicates that friendships offer an important training ground for developing capacities and expectations for later romantic relationships," Dr. Forshee says. If your friendships were strong as a teenager, it may have given you the tools to have a healthy relationship at this age. "Several studies have shown positive linkages between adolescent friendships and being able to have positive adult romantic relationships," Dr. Forshee says. "Specifically, individuals’ support from friends at age 15-17 was positively related to support from romantic partners at age 21, and more support from friends at 16 years was predictive of longer-term committed romantic relationships from 18 to 25 years."
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Read More »It's important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.
When your child mentions dating, or a girlfriend or boyfriend, try to get an idea of what those concepts mean to them. Take note of how your child reacts when you discuss dating. It could be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but if your child is unable to even discuss it with you without getting defensive or upset, take that as a sign that they probably aren’t ready.
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