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Should you read your child's text messages?

Reading text messages can be a way to ensure your kids are making safe choices, and that you're aware of any possible issues they might be encountering, whether it's with friends or personally.

sofiafamily.com - Should I read my child's texts: Q&A with a digital parenting expert

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We know that parents want to keep their kids safe when they’re online. Reading text messages can be a way to ensure your kids are making safe choices, and that you’re aware of any possible issues they might be encountering, whether it’s with friends or personally. However, there are a few considerations for deciding whether you should read your kid’s text messages. Why do you want to read their text messages? If your child has a history of making poor choices, or has had some difficulties with friends in the past, it might make sense to check in on their text messages. But, if they’ve given you no reason to be suspicious, and you’ve spoken with them about proper texting etiquette (speak kindly, read carefully, and don’t text anything you wouldn’t want on the cover of the New York Times), then you might consider otherwise. How will you access their texts? Will you get all their text messages sent to your phone? Will you randomly check their phone at any time? Or when you’re feeling suspicious of their behavior? Keep in mind that kids may feel as though their privacy is being violated (which is a real thing kids experience, and a fair feeling), so it’s important to discuss how you’ll check their messages so they know what to expect. What happens if you don’t find something (or if you do)? If your kids are making good choices, you might consider loosening up your reins and giving them more freedom and privacy because of it. This is a smart way to reinforce this positive behavior. On the other hand, if you’re finding messages that are problematic, know how to approach them about it (aka don’t freak out!), and determine whether you might need to tighten things up if they’re unable to make good choices or figure out ways to hide what they’re doing (on Snap, for example). There’s no one-rule-fits-all with texting and kids, but it’s important to mitigate a power struggle with open communication, and positive reinforcement for good choices. You want this to be a learning and growing experience, not something that interferes with your relationship with them.

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Why am I always crushing on someone?

We often develop crushes on people because we feel they might fulfil a need that isn't otherwise being fulfilled. This might be a need for love, attention, sex, friendship or any number of other things.

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What does having a crush on someone else mean for my relationship?

If you’re serious about your existing relationship, it will then be a case of trying to address the issue. It can take courage to do this, especially if what’s missing has been missing for a long time. One question people often ask is: should I tell my partner about the crush? There’s no easy answer to this. If you feel it would be necessary to help them understand how you’re feeling, then you may need to find a way to do this gently. But be aware there’s a high risk that their feelings will be badly hurt. One way to address this is by talking about it with someone you trust and who will keep it to themselves. This could be a friend or family member. You may find that the act of telling someone how you’ve been feeling is enough to help you begin to understand what’s missing in your life or specifically in your relationship. If you do think there are problems in your relationship that need to be addressed, you’ll need to find time to talk to your partner. How, when and where you have this conversation is as important as what you say – you may find it very useful to read our article on communication tips to try with your partner. This will help you think about ways to broach difficult topics without things turning into a row and how you could communicate effectively and clearly. What you need to talk about will depend on your situation, but you might like to think about the following:

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