Is there a death anniversary?

A death anniversary, sometimes called a remembrance day, is the anniversary of someone's death. Many people find that death anniversaries bring up feelings of sadness and grief. While all death anniversaries may feel hard or painful, the first anniversary after someone's death is particularly difficult.

choosingtherapy.com - 14 Ways to Remember Someone On Their Death Anniversary

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What Is a Death Anniversary?

A death anniversary, sometimes called a remembrance day, is the anniversary of someone’s death. Many people find that death anniversaries bring up feelings of sadness and grief. While all death anniversaries may feel hard or painful, the first anniversary after someone’s death is particularly difficult.2 Not all death anniversaries will feel painful or sad. Some people find that death anniversaries offer an opportunity to reminisce and connect with others who share their loss, creating feelings of support, love, and joy.3 Marking a death anniversary is often part of the grieving process. The ritual of remembering someone on the day of their death can help ease the intensity of the grief surrounding the loss (called the anniversary effect).4 Remember, there is no right or wrong way to mark a death anniversary, and what feels right may change from year to year.

14 Ways to Remember a Loved One on Their Death Anniversary

There are many ways to actively cope with grief and remember a loved one on their death anniversary, including visiting their grave, writing them a letter, looking through old photographs, and listening to their favorite songs. Ultimately, you should practice whatever kind of remembrance feels right for you. Here are fourteen ways to remember loved ones on their anniversary of death:

1. Visit Their Gravesite or Place of Rest

Visiting your loved one’s final resting place is a traditional way to honor their anniversary of death. Consider bringing flowers, and plan to spend some time reflecting on your loved one, your time together, and your love for them.

2. Write Them a Letter

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can feel cathartic.1 It can also feel like you’re communicating with them more directly. You might write about what’s happened over the past year and how it’s been without them, expressing your love for them and how you miss them. If you want to, you can save the letter in a special place. If not, you can burn or bury it. Set aside time to look through old photographs or watch old videos of your loved one. Photos and videos can help you remember the times you shared together. You might invite others who were affected by the loss to send you a photo or video they have and share the memory they associate with it.

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4. Listen to Their Favorite Song

If your loved one had a favorite song or songs, play them! You might even create a playlist of songs they loved or that remind you of them and set aside some time to listen. Think about inviting others to send a song that reminds them of your loved one, too.

5. Volunteer For a Cause They Cherished

Consider spending part of the day volunteering for a cause your loved one cherished or doing some kind of good deed. You may see if others who were affected by the loss are interested in volunteering with you.

6. Donate to a Charity They Supported

If your loved one supported a charity, consider making a donation. Many charities allow you to make a note of who you would like to honor or memorialize. For non-monetary donations, consider writing a little note. For example, if you’re donating pet food to a pet shelter, you might attach a note that says something like, “Donated in loving memory of my father, who loved animals.”

7. Make Their Favorite Meal

If your loved one had a favorite dish or meal, make it in their memory. While you’re making it, reminisce about the times you made or shared the meal together. Consider plating a ceremonial portion for your lost loved one.

8. Set a Place For Them at the Table

Consider laying a place for your loved one at the table. If you’re eating with others who are affected by the loss, ask if everyone is open to going around the table and sharing a memory.

9. Attend a Service in Your Faith Tradition

If you or your loved one belong to a faith tradition, consider attending a service at the appropriate house of worship. You may also read and reflect on a passage from your religious text like a verse that your loved one liked or a passage that was written to comfort grievers.

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10. Light a Candle

Whether at home or at a house of worship, light a candle in memory of your loved one. While it burns, you might say a prayer for them or reflect on a special memory.

11. Visit a Meaningful Place

Whether you shared a favorite restaurant, always met for a walk in a particular park, or have fond memories of a trip to a specific place, consider visiting on your loved one’s death anniversary. You can reminisce on the time you shared with your loved one there. You may want to invite others who were affected by the loss.

12. Travel to Somewhere They Loved

If possible, consider traveling to somewhere they loved or wanted to visit while they were alive, even if it’s farther away. Doing so evokes their memory and will make you feel close to them.

13. Gather With Others

Spending time with others who are affected by the death of your loved one can be a wonderful way to mark the anniversary of their death. Whether you gather for a meal, visit their final resting place together, or throw a party in their memory, sharing your memories and grief with others who care can feel connective and supportive.

14. Spend Time In Nature

Nature is a powerful healer. Getting outside and breathing the fresh air can help with feelings of anxiety and sadness. If possible, plan a short camping trip where you can stargaze and tell stories of your loved one around the fire.

choosingtherapy.com - 14 Ways to Remember Someone On Their Death Anniversary

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