Is saying I love you early a red flag?

While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”

yahoo.com - Signs It's Too Soon to Say 'I Love You' — Because, Yes, There Is Such Thing

What hurts more losing a parent or sibling?

Surprisingly, the risk of death following the loss of a sibling is higher than that after losing a parent. May 29, 2017

Last updated Dec 8, 2021

What is a cute way to ask for a kiss?

Creative ways to ask to kiss (or be kissed by) someone “Would it be okay if I kissed you on the lips?” “would you like me to lean closer and put my...

Last updated Feb 2, 2020

Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

Promotion

We all have a lot of love to give (all kinds of love in all kinds of ways!) but dropping the L-bomb and actually telling your partner “hey, I love you/am in love with you” in any relationship means things are moving to the next level. Which is why it is actually possible to say those three words a bit too soon and scare your beloved like a frightened baby deer. When anyone makes this weighty statement super-early in a relationship, it raises questions about whether or not the person is genuine or just caught up in the moment — or whether they’re listening to all the feelings involved or over-prioritizing their own. While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”

More from SheKnows

“‘I love you’ shouldn’t be said lightly,” says “Dr. Romance” Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. “If it is, it’s meaningless.” Here are some signs it’s a bit premature to be saying those three magic words — so you can be sure that when you say them they really mean something.

You haven’t been dating for at least three to six months

Of course, there are always exceptions, like if you’ve been spending every waking minute together versus only seeing each other once or twice a week. But in general, if you say, “I love you,” before dating for three to six months, you could be mistaking love for something else. “I’m a big believer in time. I wouldn’t feel really confident if someone is saying it before six months because what they are is infatuated,” says sociologist Pepper Schwartz, a professor at the University of Washington and the author of The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples.

Story continues

Can a 19 year old sleep with a 17 year old?

A person under the age of 18 years cannot legally consent to sexual intercourse. The age of consent is the same for both males and females....

Last updated Jul 1, 2022

How do you predict a divorce?

7 Things That Predict Divorce, According to Science Getting married in your teens or after age 32. ... Having a husband who doesn't work full-time....

Last updated Mar 11, 2019

Promotion

You haven’t had sex yet

If you haven’t yet slept together and someone says, “I love you,” watch out. It could be a ploy to get you into bed. Tessina says a person may say, “I love you,” during sex or to obtain sex, but they might not have really thought it through or mean it. If you’re the one who said it because you were caught up in the moment, you might want to crack a joke about how great the romp was that it made you exaggerate a little. Either way, it’s not a commitment in any way, says Tessina. You haven’t spent enough time together to form a good foundation for a relationship It sounds simple, but plenty of us are just caught up in the moment when the L-word is first uttered. But if you haven’t spent real quality time together and your relationship still feels on shaky ground, there isn’t enough there yet for it to be true love. “Any time before you’ve spent time together and gotten to know each other is way too soon for either of you to say, ‘I love you,'” says Tessina. “There’s no way either of you can know. I believe ‘love at first sight’ is only in hindsight.” She says many of the couples she counsels come to her with high expectations of “instant” relationships and romance and equally high frustration levels when things don’t unfold that way. “Internet dating, coupled with movie and TV images of instant ‘love at first sight’ create expectations that prohibit people from getting to know anything about the character of the person they’re dating and don’t give the couples a chance to develop what I call the ‘infrastructure’ of a long-lasting relationship,” Tessina says.

You or your partner can’t commit to a future

Many people assume that “I love you” means the person they’re dating is in it for the long haul. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case — in fact, that’s an entirely separate conversation you should have in order to gauge each other’s feelings. If your partner says they love you but can’t back it up with a commitment of some kind, tread lightly. Schwartz says that in general, when a person hears their partner say, “I love you,” they don’t automatically think their partner is saying, “That’s what I feel like this minute” — instead, they’re thinking there’s the implicit promise of a much deeper relationship and the words could lead to a commitment, as if their partner is saying, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

What are the 3 romantic languages?

In this article, we'll take a look at three popular Romance languages—Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian—to learn more about where they're spoken,...

Last updated Oct 3, 2020

Do narcissists need love?

Narcissists can't grasp the concept of love as a mutual devotion that includes acceptance of flaws. Love does not sustain them, it feels elusive...

Last updated Dec 14, 2021

Promotion

If your partner says it because they’re just feeling loving at the time but haven’t considered what the relationship means to them, it might be a red flag.

You say it right after an intense experience

Maybe a relative has just died or one of you has landed a new job. When you go through a life-changing experience like that together, it can be bonding and make you feel full of love for each other. But is it really love? Not necessarily if the rest of your relationship doesn’t measure up. “Depending on the context, those three words can [be said] because [they have] just given you a surprise party or stood up for you against a chastising parent or spent lavishly on you,” says Raymond. “It varies with the ebb and flow of the connection.”

Originally published April 2015. Updated June 2020.

Launch Gallery: 9 Couples Sex Toys & How to Use Them

Best of SheKnows

yahoo.com - Signs It's Too Soon to Say 'I Love You' — Because, Yes, There Is Such Thing

How do you know if a guy loves you without talking?

Signs He Loves You Without Saying It He holds your hand. Holding a hand is a way of showing affection. ... He trusts you. ... He takes your help to...

Last updated Dec 8, 2020

Does true love last forever?

Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to happier, healthier relationships. Romance does not have to fizzle out in long-term relationships and...

Last updated Mar 30, 2019

Promotion

Are fire signs honest?

Being Brutally Honest When a fire sign has something on their mind, they won't refrain from telling you exactly how they feel — even if it may hurt...

Last updated Jan 15, 2019

Promotion

How do you know if she likes you more than a friend?

If she likes you, she will try to touch you more often. Notice if she is trying to touch your hand, shoulder, or thighs when speaking. If you are...

Last updated Mar 26, 2021