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Is Music a love language?

There are five love languages: physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, gift giving and quality time. However, as many love-struck teens might tell you, there's another love language. Music, or sharing music with your beloved, is the sixth, under-appreciated language.

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Haley Huett

A&E Editor

There are five love languages: physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, gift giving and quality time. However, as many love-struck teens might tell you, there’s another love language. Music, or sharing music with your beloved, is the sixth, under-appreciated language. The mixtape has lost its position in modern courtship. The act of curating a collection of songs for your significant other is an unparalleled way to express how you feel. Whether the tracks summon an emotion you cannot quite describe, capture the essence of your partner, or remind you of a special moment, to make a mixtape is to know your beloved. Now, in the age of Spotify and Apple Music, it is easier to create a mixtape than ever. Gone are the days where mixtapes are a labor of love. You needn’t carefully record music off the radio and gift your partner the cassette. Today, you can curate your playlist, adding and subtracting songs or diligently arranging the tracks, as many times as you want. Even then, you can share the link and keep adding tracks to your heart’s desire. A mixtape is something that is never asked for but is always appreciated. It should never be solicited. The gift that you’re giving, more than a list of tracks, is the implication that you have taken the time to think about your beloved. It says to them, “I know you and I know the things that make you special and I’ve thought about you a lot. Here is how I am choosing to express that.” Typically reserved for romantic relationships, mixtapes are equally meaningful when they are made for a friend. They are treasured for many of the same reasons. I still listen to playlists that friends made for me in high school. They make me feel special and they remind me of the person who made it, even if we aren’t as close now. It gives me a reason to think fondly of the people I care about and it makes me feel loved. Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. For those scrambling in search of something meaningful to give to their partner, a mixtape is an excellent idea. It’s free to make a playlist on a streaming platform like Spotify or YouTube. The cost doesn’t make the gift less meaningful. If you want to do something sweet for your sweetie, or show your friend how much you care, consider making them a playlist. Making a playlist shows effort, care, and appreciation for another person. In the age of the hyper-commercialized Valentine’s Day, a personalized mixtape is more meaningful than a box of chocolates or a bouquet of roses. All these traditional gifts associated with the holiday make no expression of true appreciation for an individual. They just mean to sell you a product. A mixtape goes above these emotionless gifts. Any day of the year, if you want to express your love in some way, make a mixtape. If your partner’s love language is music, a mixtape is an excellent way to speak to them.

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An act of service is the physical expression of a thoughtful gesture. It's one of the five love languages, which are specific styles of showing love. At its core, an act of service is about someone going out of their way to meaningfully help and support the other person.

Gary Chapman combined his lessons from his marriage counseling and linguistics background to develop his book The 5 Love Languages. The theory describes the five ways he believes we best interpret, give, and communicate love: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch. For those whose primary love language is acts of service, they will appreciate the tactile, palpable steps you are taking to enhance or simplify their life by making it a little bit easier. When they don't have to worry about the little but big things that give them stress, it allows them to fully show up as a partner and reciprocate love from a place of abundance. Colaku typically incorporates the love languages quiz into her clinical work to help facilitate understanding and conversations between individuals and couples. She finds it can be useful for people to examine how upbringing, attachment style, and experiences with early caregivers may have shaped their love language so they can see where the other person is coming from. "Discussing the love languages is an opportunity to be vulnerable with each other, as it allows us to go beyond simply discussing how we want things to be executed in the relationship but also how we came to translate that act of service equals being loved," she says. RELATED: What It Means To Have Quality Time As A Love Language + How To Show Love This Way

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