Soulmate Gem
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Love bombing isn't a diagnostic term, though it is used by mental health professionals to describe a form of emotional abuse. When someone love bombs you, they often shower you with excessive or overwhelming levels of affection and adoration.
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Read More »Being showered with affection might sound like a dream come true — until you realize it may be love bombing, a common tactic used by people with narcissism. Share on Pinterest Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty Images It’s natural to want your partner to demonstrate their affection. Small reminders that you’re appreciated and cared for can brighten the darkest days. Displays of love can help you feel secure in your relationship and can stave off less desirable feelings, like resentment, mistrust, and self-doubt. But when affection seems persistent and overwhelming in the beginning of a relationship — to the point that it makes you feel intuitively uneasy — it may not just be a display of emotion. You might be experiencing love bombing. Too good to be true: ‘love bombing’ meaning Love bombing isn’t a diagnostic term, though it is used by mental health professionals to describe a form of emotional abuse. When someone love bombs you, they often shower you with excessive or overwhelming levels of affection and adoration. While that might not necessarily sound like a negative thing, the goal behind love bombing isn’t always so innocent. “Some common traits of love bombing include providing excessive amounts of attention, admiration, and affection,” explains Alexander Burgemeester, a clinical psychologist and author from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. “The aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.” Love bombing and control Love bombing can be a way of establishing control over another person. It can make you feel guilty or ungrateful if you’re at odds with your partner. You might go against your initial instincts, for example, because you feel you owe it to them to do what they want. The effect of love bombing If someone is love bombing you, you may start doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Your reaction may become, “Well, I wouldn’t normally do that, but my partner spends so much money on me, it’s the least I can do, I guess.” What love bombing isn’t Not all great displays of love are love bombing. Love bombing is often constant, intense, and may even make you feel uncomfortable. Typically, it’s not the occasional romantic surprise from your partner. However, if the goal is to manipulate you, you may still be experiencing love bombing. Why do people love bomb? Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse. Like all forms of abuse, it’s about establishing control and power over someone else. “It happens as part of what is called ‘the cycle of abuse,’ where the love bomber attempts to develop a false sense of connection and trust early into a relationship in an effort to later control or emotionally abuse,” says Emily Simonian, LMFT, head of learning at Thriveworks in Washington, D.C. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and love bombing While anyone can display love bombing tendencies, this type of emotional tactic is often associated with narcissism, particularly narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). According to Simonian, it’s important to differentiate between narcissistic personality traits and NPD when it comes to love bombing. “Many people can have one or maybe even a few narcissistic traits, like a constant need for praise or admiration, having a sense of entitlement, or a large sense of self-importance, but that doesn’t mean they are a narcissist,” she explains. It’s when narcissistic traits merge with long-term patterns of relationship behaviors, like exploitation and manipulation, that narcissistic personality disorder becomes a factor. “This is where love bombing potentially comes in, as those who engage in love bombing do so to create a false sense of intimacy for personal gain, which is consistent with narcissism,” Simonian says. NPD is a diagnosable mental health condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), meaning it causes significant impairment in areas of basic functioning. How long does love bombing last? According to Bergemeester, once your partner establishes control through narcissist love bombing, they’ll shift into a more manipulative role, often one that focuses on devaluing you. How long it takes for them to feel they’ve secured your loyalty in the relationship first can vary. Love bombing typically takes place during a courtship phase that can last days or weeks. It may even last for months if you seem more resistant. Ultimately, there’s no set timeline for love bombing. It can continue until your partner feels they’ve established the necessary level of control. “Love bombing is typically an unconscious behavior,” says Bergemeester, “and the process is mostly about securing a relationship with another person. When this has been achieved, a narcissist will usually switch, turning into a manipulative and controlling partner instead.”
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Read More »The love bombing cycle Narcissist love bombing can vary between partners and situations. Everyone is unique, and love bombing can mean something different from one relationship to the next. In general, love bombing often follows what’s known as the narcissistic cycle of abuse, which tends to involve: idealizing
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