Photo: Angela Roma

Is it weird to shower with your kids?

However, the parenting and child development experts do seem to mostly agree that parents bathing with children is normal and healthy up until the child begins to show discomfort or the parent themselves begin to feel concern.

stopitnow.org - Is it okay for a father to shower with a 21 month old daughter? | Stop It Now

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Dear Concerned Parent,

Overall, a father bathing with his young toddler is not considered inappropriate or even a warning sign an adult might be at risk to harm a child. Of course, every family has its own comfort level with issues like nudity, bathing practices and parenting styles. However, the parenting and child development experts do seem to mostly agree that parents bathing with children is normal and healthy up until the child begins to show discomfort or the parent themselves begin to feel concern. Children begin to understand more about gender permanency and related issues as they enter their preschool ages. When children begin asking general, age-appropriate and curious questions regarding their bodies and other's bodies, this may also be a good time to review bathing practices. However, your comment that you think he is a weird guy prompts me to ask if you are noticing other warning signs? Certainly, our gut feelings about someone are often the best clue that there is something concerning happening. Please look over our warning signs although I would caution you to note that the appearance of a single sign is not necessarily a sign of abuse. Rather, notice if you are seeing repeated signs or patterns. You may want to consider talking with the parents about your observation and concern. These conversations do not have to sound accusatory or suspicious. Instead, they can help all adults concerned think about safety for children. Speaking out about your question around young children and showering may be a good way to open the conversation about safety and preventioin if it is done in a non-accusatory way. Possibly, if showering with toddlers is different than what you’ve experienced, you could ask in a way that was more a request to understand a “new” parenting model than what you’re familiar with. You could also note that as a grandparent, you’ve been reading information in the media about child sexual abuse and you are curious about how the family is planning for safety…and then share our materials. Some information from our Online Help Center and website you may find helpful: Your question is a good question. When adults stop to listen to their intuition and ask questions about what is normal and what isn’t, then they are paying greater attention to how to keep children safe.

Take care,

Stop It Now!

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At what age should I stop sleeping with my daughter?

And while there is no question that there are numerous health benefits, it is always best to end co-sleeping by the end of age two at the latest. This is because the longer you wait to end the practice the more likely there will be long-term effects.

tinytransitions.com - At what age does sharing a bed with my child have any long-term ...

Start the Transition by Age One

Co-sleeping with an infant can feel like the best way to keep the baby safe for many parents. It is natural to feel that having your baby close to you is the best place for them. It also can feel daunting to explore all of the safety measures that relate to babies and toddlers about their sleep environment in efforts of preventing SIDS, suffocation, and other dangerous circumstances. Yet, some research suggests that co-sleeping can also carry risks and the AAP discourages co-sleeping, especially for children under 4 months of age. This is in part due to concerns of suffocation as well as developing psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and boundary issues as the baby matures. However, newer studies have suggested that babies who have co-slept with their parents during the newborn phase do not carry any additional risks of developing a mental health concern. However, by the age of one, a child should be transitioning into their own sleeping space to allow an emerging sense of self and foster independent, and solution-focused thinking long-term. When we allow our children to share our space for too long, they run the risk of becoming codependent or enmeshed with parental figures. and this can damage their adjustment both short-term and long-term. If parents feel strongly that they wish to co-sleep with their baby, using a Moses basket in the bed between parents can be a safe alternative. Creating a plan for the child to transition to their own space by the age of one allows for the emergence of self-soothing and other solution-focused behaviors which are tied to well-adjusted adulthood.

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