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Is it OK to fall in love at 15?

TL;DR: Teens can absolutely fall in love. Adults might tell you that your brain is still developing, and that's true; in fact, it'll continue to develop well into your twenties.

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Welcome to Down to Find Out, a column in which Nona Willis Aronowitz addresses your biggest questions about sex, dating, relationships, and all the gray areas in between. Have a question for Nona? Send it to downtofindout@gmail.com or fill out this Google form. (It’s anonymous!)

Do you believe it is possible for teens to fall in love? Not just puppy love, but, like, real love. The love our parents feel for one another. Is it healthy to feel it so young?

—Bear, 16, she/her

I relish the chance to answer this question, because every single teen knows how it feels for a parent or another adult to brush off their strong romantic feelings. “There are lots of fish in the sea!” they’ll say dismissively, as they pack up your family’s moving truck. Or, as you weep after a heart-wrenching breakup: “It was just a summer fling!”

TL;DR: Teens can absolutely fall in love.

Adults might tell you that your brain is still developing, and that’s true; in fact, it’ll continue to develop well into your twenties. But according to experts, the part of your brain that develops later is some of the prefrontal-cortex-based executive functions, such as being able to assess risk and behave rationally under stress or overwhelming feelings. The more instinctive, basic emotions, like love, are already there. You just might not yet be able to have proper control or sound judgment when those emotions are flooding through you—especially in “reward-sensitive” environments, where the temptations of immediate feel-good experiences are strong. And being in love is certainly one of those experiences! So, yes, the love you’re feeling is real, important, and healthy. Don’t let a well-meaning adult diminish it. You feel a genuine connection to another human, and that’s beautiful. But there’s a caveat: It’s not exactly like the love your parents (or two adults in a longterm relationship) might feel for one another. A lot stands in the way of teens’ ability to have an enduring, committed, functional romantic relationship. The aforementioned brain development is one obstacle; emotional immaturity and lack of life experience are two others. Teens are still figuring out who they are and what they want. They often don’t yet have mature, vulnerable ways to talk about things like rejection, jealousy, or the need for space. Meanwhile, your hormones are going completely nuts, so it will take a while to distinguish between sexual attraction and the qualities that make a person a compatible longterm partner. I know it’s painful to think that the love you’re feeling may not last forever (although a small percentage of high school sweethearts do make it). But that’s not to say teen love isn’t meaningful. You’re learning about your desires and your capacity for intimacy. You’re learning what it means to care very deeply for someone in a whole new way. This period of openness and discovery is why many people still think about their first loves decades later. I can’t tell you what will happen in the future, but I can affirm and validate what’s happening to you in the present.

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What are the first signs of cheating?

Altered Schedule. If working late is suddenly a new normal even though your partner's job doesn't really require it, they may not be telling the truth about where they are. Uncomfortable Friends. The friends of the cheating partner usually know about it before you do. ... Inconsistent Expenses. ... False Accusations of Cheating.

What Is Cheating? Cheating, also known as infidelity, is when a person in a monogamous romantic relationship has an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else without their partner’s consent. Infidelity, however, doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all definition. What one couple would consider cheating might be a healthy part of another couple’s relationship. For example, is an emotional connection with someone without physical intimacy cheating? What about an online relationship? What if a couple practices ethical nonmonogamy? Couples need to define for themselves what constitutes infidelity in the context of their relationship. Signs of Cheating If you’re already thinking that cheating might be present in your relationship, chances are it is. While there’s no clinical diagnosis that can uncover whether or not your partner is cheating, there are several signs that could mean infidelity is there. Here are 10 well-known signs of cheating: Protectiveness With Electronic Devices Partners engaged in infidelity often cheat over the internet, either on their computer or phone. If your partner is overly protective of their electronic devices or defensive about spending time on them, that might mean they don’t want you to know who they’re talking to.

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