Is it harder to find a partner the older you get?

Our needs and wants change as we mature. They say it's harder to find a partner after you've reached a certain age, and it's true. There are a million reasons, but at the top of most people's lists is that they simply don't want to put up with someone else's bad behavior.

psychologytoday.com - Does Age Make You Pickier When Finding a Partner?

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They say it’s harder to find a partner after you’ve reached a certain age, and it’s true. There are a million reasons, but at the top of most people’s lists is that they simply don’t want to put up with someone else’s bad behavior. Or more simply put, you get to a point in life where you no longer are willing to deal with anyone else’s BS.

One of my middle-aged friends (hey, fifty is the new thirty, right?), who is currently looking for a mate, complains endlessly about the men she is meeting through a matchmaker and online. The matchmaker cost her ten thousand dollars, and the results were no better than her online dates at $29.95 a month. None of the guys have met her criteria. Is her bar too high? Let’s see… he has to have a degree, a job, and not be in debt—and be attractive. Sounds reasonable. But one guy isn’t emotionally available, and another has too much baggage, and another who was really cute never called her back. Is it her, or is it the men she is attracting?

For years, we were all told not to settle, and many people choose to live alone rather than be in a lonely relationship with someone who isn’t right for them. Once you have decided that you aren’t getting either what you need or what you want, your desire to stay with a person dies like a campfire. And if you have been through a divorce or two or even a couple of bad breakups, it can taint your desire to get involved with another human being. They say that time heals all wounds, but that just doesn’t hold true if your heart has been broken by someone who betrayed your trust or abused you. Being a little gun shy comes with the territory. You still need to be involved with the world, but you have the final say over if and when you might be ready to open your heart again. I do believe that we are better in relationships than out of them. They give us the opportunity to grow in different ways and to feel validated, and being in a relationship can make life easier as well as sweeter. But that doesn’t mean that you need to be in a relationship to have a full and meaningful life. We all need people, but perhaps after some time has passed, the ways in which we need them can change. If you aren’t part of a couple, you may find that partnering in a business or just being part of the community can answer that need. Sometimes family members move far away, but other times they move closer and become a bigger part of the second half of your life. If you are open to different things, you won’t find yourself disappointed or alone. Life has a lot to offer. Whether you allow yourself to experiment with new things or you choose to complain about how nothing ever changes—or that there aren’t any “good ones” out there—is up to you. It’s perfectly okay to be picky. Just make sure you pick something to get involved in, and don’t let life pass you by.

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Can you tell if someone loves you by the way they look at you?

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businessinsider.com - 7 Signs Someone Is in Love With You — Even If It Doesn't Seem Like It

1. They have fun with you even if the task at hand is not fun, per se The saying, "It’s not what you do, but who you're with" is popular for a reason — because it's true. Pay attention to the person who's always there for you, even when the task at hand is not outwardly a fun one, like helping you move. "A sign someone may be in love with you includes their ability to have fun with you even during mundane tasks," Dr. Flores said. "If they are happy to see you, no matter what the two of you are doing, it may be love." Kailen Rosenberg, elite matchmaker and founder of The Lodge Social Club, a dating application with a three-step vetting process that launched earlier this month, agrees. "The person will often go the 'extra mile' to help you with something — a project, a need, an errand, etc.," she told Business Insider. "Bottom line, they want to be near you, thought of by you, and assist you."

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