Is it good to keep someone's ashes?

Storing ashes at home is a great way to honor a loved one amongst your family, but it makes it difficult for others to visit and remember them. Keeping ashes, no matter the vessel, in a public place also makes it easy for future generations to pay their respects.

cremationsocietyofphiladelphia.com - More People Keep Their Loved One's Ashes at Home

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Of the many benefits of cremation, one of the most notable is the romantic notion of scattering the ashes. Many people begin to plan their memorial services in their head early on and imagine having a loved one scatter their ashes across their favorite landscape, on top of a mountain, or even cast at sea. Poetic as this gesture may be, a new survey from California and Washington funeral providers shows that more people are choosing to keep their ashes in the home. According to the survey, one in five people are storing ashes in their home. More often than not, these family members are storing the ashes of their parents in their house. A smaller percentage of people choose to keep the ashes of their spouse in the home. It’s an interesting divide that points to different preferences we have when it comes to memorializing some of the people closest to us. Of all those who keep ashes in their homes, 54 percent said they kept the ashes of their parents. When asked, they said they wanted to keep the memories of their parents close to home. Though many choose to keep the ashes in an urn and stored in a place of honor in the house, many turn their backyards into private memorials. “Having the remains in a memorial in their own yard is the ideal solution. It provides a sense of permanence and respect and maintains that feeling of closeness, but it can be moved if they change residences or want to eventually place it in a cemetery,” explained David Montgomery, a private family memorial specialist in a press release for the survey. For many, though, the decision to keep their loved one’s ashes at home is an easy one. When asked, 30 percent of respondents said they weren’t aware of all the memorial options available to them. For instance, ashes can be stored in a granite bench or a pedestal and placed in a cemetery. Urns can also be placed in a columbarium niche or even buried. Storing ashes at home is a great way to honor a loved one amongst your family, but it makes it difficult for others to visit and remember them. Keeping ashes, no matter the vessel, in a public place also makes it easy for future generations to pay their respects. The results of this survey explain several things about our attitudes towards death. First, we’re increasingly becoming comfortable with the idea of cremation. According to the survey, 85 percent of all respondents said they had personally arranged a cremation at some point in their life. Second, we overwhelmingly realize the importance of honoring our family members by keeping their memory close.

Perhaps most important, though, is our willingness to think ahead about death. There are many who choose cremation as a part of their preplanning. It’s also important, however, to plan ahead for how future generations will remember us when they leave this earth. Would it mean more to your family to be kept in your home or in a public facility?

If you’ve yet to begin thinking ahead about your end-of-life plans, call the Philadelphia Cremation Society today. They’ll be able to answer any questions you may have about preplanning your cremation or storage options. If you’ve recently lost a loved one, the Philadelphia Cremation Society provides low-cost direct cremation as well. Call one of their caring and compassionate representatives today at (610) 572-7078.

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How do you know if you get the right ashes?

IDENTIFICATION DISK Before the body goes into the oven, a stainless steel disk around the size of a quarter with a unique number is placed with it. That number is then recorded on the paperwork of the deceased. Since the disk doesn't melt, it will remain in tact with the ashes that you receive.

everplans.com - How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One?

As a general rule, it’s safe to assume that if you use a reputable crematory the ashes in your possession are, in fact, your loved one. If you’re still skeptical, here are some of the strict protocols they follow:

IDENTIFICATION DISK

Before the body goes into the oven, a stainless steel disk around the size of a quarter with a unique number is placed with it. That number is then recorded on the paperwork of the deceased. Since the disk doesn’t melt, it will remain in tact with the ashes that you receive. If you’re really set on IDing the cremains, you could sift through the ashes and find the remaining disk. Not the best way to spend an afternoon, but whatever gives you closure is fine with me.

SEE FOR YOURSELF

If you plan in advance, crematories will allow you to watch the event take place. In some cultures it's normal, but if you're uncomfortable with this option don't feel obligated to do so.

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