Is blinking a lot flirting?

It's easy to see where the term 'batting your eyelashes' originated from: if someone looks at us and likes what they see, they tend to blink more. Because the brain associates rapid blinking with finding someone sexually attractive, the more you blink at someone, the more attracted you feel to them.

dailymail.co.uk - Five most successful eye contact flirting techniques | Daily Mail Online

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Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

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It was a popular BBC show that taught people who struggled to find a relationship how to flirt, communicate and dress more effectively. I was the flirting and body language expert and for years studied and taught body language techniques to all different types of people. Tracey Cox reveals the five eye contact techniques you can use that will almost guarantee that you will pull Of all these techniques, those involving eye contact were the most successful of all. Which is hardly surprising when you consider we communicate more with our eyes than any other part of our body. Eighty percent of our information about the outside world comes through our eyes. Eighteen times more sensitive than our ears, our eyes are capable of responding to one and a half million simultaneous messages. They’re so finely tuned, they’ll subconsciously spot when someone starts looking at us and start taking mental notes. If that person is checking everyone out, they’ll stop registering the information; if it’s just us they’re interested in, they’ll signal the brain to give us a nudge that someone’s watching. Vital for communicating all emotions and particularly handy for interpreting sexual signals, eye contact is the easiest and most effective flirting tool to get someone’s attention.

Here’s five tried-and-true techniques that really work.

The four-and-a-half second scan

A normal face scan lasts three seconds, scan for four-and-a-half and it’s clear they’ve ‘caught your eye’. Tracey says eye contact for longer than ten seconds means that anger or lust Eye contact of more than 10 seconds between two people means one of two things: you’re about to fight or have sex (well, you want to anyway). Prolonged eye contact produces intense emotional reactions regardless of whether it’s a fist or a pair of lips heading your way. It activates the nervous system, raises our heart rate and blood flow and stimulates the production of certain hormones. Just about everyone knows being watched is a sign someone’s interested, so if you want to subtly make your intentions known, this is the way to do it.

The slide and settle

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Let your eyes settle on someone so they’re aware you’ve noticed them, then as they’re still watching you, slide your eyes around the room before settling back on them again. This effectively says, ‘You instantly attracted me and you’re still the pick of the room even after I’ve checked out the competition.’ One other point while we’re on the topic of eye slides – if you’re interested, it’s best to break the very first eye contact made by dropping your eyes straight down, then directly up again to lock eyes after a few seconds. If someone’s eyes instead slide away from yours to the side or upward and don’t return after a minute or two, they’re almost definitely not interested. The slide and settle is a quick movement - the whole thing’s over in 10-15 seconds – but it’s impressively accurate.

The flirting triangle

Eye movement studies show we look at different parts of other people’s faces depending on the situation and level of attractiveness. When looking at strangers or in business situations, we make a small triangle by moving our eyes from eye to eye, dipping them as we move across the bridge of the nose. With friends or in more friendly social situations, the triangle widens as our eyes drop below eye level to include the nose and the mouth. With lovers and people we fancy, the triangle broadens even further, dropping below the mouth to include the breasts and other good bits like the genitals. Tracey says a quiet wink matched with a sexy smile can be incredibly bonding simply because it’s secret and implies the two of you are closer than others present The more intense the flirting, the more concentrated the eye contact becomes at certain parts of the triangle. Eye to eye contact becomes fast, furious and constant, seconded by long periods spent staring at the mouth. Our eyes spend the rest of the time making little side journeys to the bits at the bottom of the triangle.

Blink if you fancy them

It’s easy to see where the term ‘batting your eyelashes’ originated from: if someone looks at us and likes what they see, they tend to blink more. Because the brain associates rapid blinking with finding someone sexually attractive, the more you blink at someone, the more attracted you feel to them.

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This, of course, can be manipulated for your benefit!

You can increase the blink rate of the person you’re talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they’ll unconsciously try to match their blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!

Don’t automatically assume slow blinking means disinterest however.

If we’re completely absorbed in a task, concentrating or addictively entertained, we blink very little, not wanting to miss a second of what’s before us.

Confused? Don’t be.

Common sense and other body language signals will tell you which interpretation applies to your situation. If in doubt, I’d opt for the ‘fast blink means they fancy me’ theory. After all, the function of blinking is to clean the eye and keep the moisture level constant. As intense emotion almost always produces tears, it stands to reason our blink rate increases when we’re incredibly happy, sad, attracted or excited as the eye tries to clear excess liquid.

Wink if you want more

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink jokes and Carry On films have turned a once sexy flirt tool into a bit of a joke. But, a quiet wink matched with a sexy smile can be incredibly bonding simply because it’s secret and implies the two of you are closer than others present. So ignore the bad press: delivered at the right moment, a simple wink can be devastatingly effective. Try a two-eyed wink for variation by blinking in slow motion, consciously slowing it down to half or a third of the normal speed (the average blink lasts one fortieth of a second). Visit Tracey’s website traceycox.com for more information about sex and love and to check out her product range.

dailymail.co.uk - Five most successful eye contact flirting techniques | Daily Mail Online

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