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How soon is too soon to sleep with someone?

The INSIDER Summary: In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average.

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People are waiting longer than you think. Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

The INSIDER Summary:

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average. There are a lot of questions when you first begin dating someone, but one of the biggest is when exactly you should take the plunge and sleep together. Although this will vary with every couple, a new study gives some insight into how long most people wait — and it might be longer than you think. The survey, conducted by Groupon, asked 2,000 adults about dating habits and found that, on average, eights dates was deemed the "acceptable" amount of time to wait before having sex with a new partner. This blasts past the old cliché of waiting three dates before getting intimate. This varied across genders, too. The average person who identified as a man was cool with waiting five dates, but the average person who identified as a woman leaned more towards waiting nine dates. But it's not just sex that people wait for. Most participants told researchers that they wait until the second date before having their first kiss. Only 17% of participants said that if it goes well that they "always" kiss on a first date. But the good news, at least if you're a millennial, is that you may be waiting a little less time to see if there will be a second date. Millenials surveyed said that they followed up within 48 hours to set up a second date, while older participants said that they waited three days on average. Obviously, this survey is far from conclusive — everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical intimacy. But this is a good reminder than any good relationship can and should move at a speed you're comfortable with, all you have to do is talk about it.

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How do you know if someone is not missing you?

Notice how often they call or text. Everyone has different styles around communication, but frequent phone calls and messages are a good sign of investment in a relationship. If the person is kind of popping in and out of your life to check on you, they're probably missing you and wondering how you feel.

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It may be helpful to ask directly if the person misses you, but be careful about putting them on the spot. If they feel accused, they might not answer honestly. If your friendship has grown distant and you're not sure why, it may be more helpful to talk directly with your friend about the cause of the distance. Tell your friend that you've noticed that the two of you are not as close anymore. Ask if you did anything to cause offense or to hurt your friend. If the answer is yes, be ready to listen to what your friend has to say without leaping to your own defense.

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