Soulmate Gem
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How long should kissing last?

You've probably never timed it, but maybe you've wished it lasted longer. In John Gottman's relationship research, he was able to find that six seconds is the length of a kiss that can actually create a connection with your partner. In fact, he recommends you have at least one six-second kiss per day.

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Have you ever wondered if your kiss is lasting long enough? You’ve probably never timed it, but maybe you’ve wished it lasted longer. In John Gottman’s relationship research, he was able to find that six seconds is the length of a kiss that can actually create a connection with your partner. In fact, he recommends you have at least one six-second kiss per day. John calls the six-second kiss “a kiss with potential.” An important part of your relationship is building and maintaining a connection with your partner. When we feel really connected, conflict and hard times tend to seem easier to get through. Our connection helps us see our partner in a positive light and focus on the things we appreciate about them instead of things that bother us. When the connection is really strong in your relationship, you are in positive sentiment override. This is a term used to describe couples who see a positive perspective in their relationship due to their strong connection.

Benefits of incorporating the six-second kiss daily:

It helps you feel closer physically.

It’s an invitation for further connection.

It can reduce stress.

It makes connection a priority.

It can lead to intimacy.

It prioritizes your relationship.

It’s a way to have fun together.

It counts as a positive experience together.

It feels good.

A kissing homework assignment

Try out timing your six-second kiss once to get a feel for the length. (You don’t want to time it every time as it will distract you from the connection.) Grab your partner, set a timer on your phone, and get to kissing. You can make it a game by guessing when you’ve hit six seconds or seeing the longest kiss you can do without taking a breath.

A great time to incorporate a six-second kiss into your daily routine is a kiss when parting for the day or when reuniting at the end of the day. Take a few minutes to check in about the day after the kiss as well. Making the six-second kiss a daily habit will be one of the easiest and quickest ways you can boost connection in your relationship. What else can you do for less than one minute a week that will improve your relationship?

The takeaway from this article is simple. Making time for small connections leads to big results. Investing time to connect each day with your partner is worth the time and effort. To get out of the feeling of being roommates, the connection needs to be at the forefront. Strong, healthy couples make time daily to connect and enjoy that intimacy.

Facebook image: Hrecheniuk Oleksii/Shutterstock

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Is it better to marry for love or friendship?

The study found that the "well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend." According to the study, women benefit more from being married to their best friend than men do.

Should you date (and maybe even marry) your best friend? That question's been the topic of countless rom-coms. But beyond the big screen, some scientists are now pointing to evidence that says marrying your best friend is something you might want to consider saying "I do" to. A new paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, which controlled for pre-marriage happiness levels, found that married people are both happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single. And the satisfaction the reportedly lasted for decades, not fading away after the "honeymoon" period. One reason the study gives for why marriages remain so satisfying, is the role of friendship. The study found that the "well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend." According to the study, women benefit more from being married to their best friend than men do. But, women are also less likely to regard their spouse as their best friend. But the study also found that of those relationships that didn't work out, half couldn't retain their friendship after breaking up.

So the bottom line? As Savannah said, "it's high risk, high reward."

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