How does attraction work for a woman?

Emotional attraction is all about how you make another person FEEL. It can be triggered in a variety of ways: through touch, pheromones, body language, behavior, the tone of your voice, humor, confidence, and vulnerability. (Vulnerability is a really big one.)

livereconnected.com - The Psychology Of Female Attraction (What Women Really Want)

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So let's get to the interesting stuff now: emotional attraction and how to build it with another person. Emotional attraction is all about how you make another person FEEL. It can be triggered in a variety of ways: through touch, pheromones, body language, behavior, the tone of your voice, humor, confidence, and vulnerability. (Vulnerability is a really big one.) You see, all these things are not that enticing to talk about because they're not as practical as telling someone, “Hey, just go to the gym five times a week, develop six-pack abs, and women are going to want you!” (Even though that's total bullshit, not true, and I'm living proof of that.) Emotions are also weird and sometimes difficult to understand. For example, it's much better usually to elicit a negative emotion in a person than to trigger no emotion whatsoever. The worst situation, especially in romance, is the middle. It's when you stay in that weird gray area where people are just indifferent about you.

Why is that? Why is it better to trigger a negative emotion than no emotion whatsoever?

To fall in love, people need to have a mental image of you. You can't fall in love with another person if you don't have a mental image of them. If you don't even think about another person, then there can't be any chance for love. A negative emotion seems like a worse outcome than just staying in the neutral zone where people don't think negatively or positively about you. In reality, even if someone feels a negative emotion towards you, they're going to think about you a lot. They're going to think, “Oh, that asshole. Why did he say that? He's such an arrogant prick.” We have all seen it countless times in movies, and maybe you've also seen it in real life: where the woman is a real sweetheart, and theoretically, she'd be so happy with any of the nice guys that all want her, but she still picks the asshole that every other guy knows is going to break her heart. We know the rest of the situation and still she chooses him. The only reason for that is because he is able to trigger an emotional response in her and emotions are ALWAYS exciting.

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Why are you drawn to certain people?

similarity: how like you they are, for example, do you share similar interests or values. reciprocity: we're more likely to like people who like us. physical attractiveness: are they pleasing to look at? familiarity: we like people who seem comfortable to us.

bbc.co.uk - The psychology of attraction: Why do we fancy certain people? - BBC

This seems familiar

Most of these factors have in the past been attributed with how we’ve evolved as humans. Take familiarity, Dr Hart told Bitesize: “I think it links back to our evolutionary past. We are attracted to those who seem familiar to us, as familiarity provides predictability and safety.” One such theory that links with familiarity is something called ‘imprinting’. Dr Alex Jones of the University of Swansea says it is slightly “out there”, and explained it with reference to the animal kingdom: “When animals are very young they have this thing called ‘sexual imprinting’ which is where they use clues in their environment to figure out what a good mate might be, somebody who might be a good bet to try and reproduce with. “That’s usually based on characteristics that their parents have which, like I say, is a little bit weird.” So for example, if someone in your family or group of friends that you grew up with was really funny, and you enjoy their company, you might be likely to be more attracted to funny people when you grow up, because it’s something that you’re used to. These factors can also be linked. Like proximity and familiarity: if you see someone every day, you’re likely going to get used to their company over time, until it gets to a point where you’re very comfortable with them and it would feel strange not having them around. But none of these factors are the be all and end all. “Just because you’re near someone it doesn’t mean you’re going to like them, because if your first impression of them is bad, then being near them all the time isn’t going to solve that,” explained Dr Hart.

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