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How do you know if you are a priority in her life?

You know you're a priority when your partner makes the effort to listen when he/she would prefer to do something else—when the game is on, when she's tired, when text alerts are stacking up.

eharmony.com - 15 Ways to Know If You Are a Top Priority in Your Love's Life

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“How important am I to you? Am I a priority in your life?” Even if you’ve never actually asked your partner these questions, it’s likely you’ve thought them. When you’re in love, you want to know where you fit on the priority list. Sometimes it’s hard to know for sure. But there are signals that clearly indicate just how important you are to your partner. You know you are a top priority when your partner … 1. Zealously protects your time together. Although everyone is busy these days, someone who holds you in high esteem won’t let demands and obligations crowd out your one-on-one time. 2. Introduces you to family and friends. You know you have special standing when your partner is eager for you to meet the important people in his/her life. 3. Includes you in other interests. Your partner is happy to have you join her book group or hit the golf course with him. 4. Is concerned about impressing you. Not because your partner needs your approval, but because he/she wants to look good and behave well to enhance your life. 5. Is protective of you. Someone who values you highly will always have your back, watching out for you and taking your side. 6. But is not overprotective. You’re a priority when your partner recognizes your strength and knows you can stand up for yourself. 7. Puts love into action. It’s easy to SAY you are a priority, but you’ll know it’s true when your partner makes sacrifices for you and demonstrates your importance through acts and deeds. 8. Sweats the small stuff. Details matter, and it’s the little things that make a big impression. Your partner attends to particulars, all to make you feel honored. 9. Notices things about you that others overlook. If you are important to your partner, then everything about you is important. He or she will see the fine textures of your life. 10. Listens carefully to what you say. You know you’re a priority when your partner makes the effort to listen when he/she would prefer to do something else—when the game is on, when she’s tired, when text alerts are stacking up. 11. Remembers details you’ve shared. You know you are valued when your partner listens closely to know you better—and then uses what he hears to treat you well. 12. Is curious about you. Your partner asks tons of questions to discover all the “insider information” you—and then is genuinely fascinated by your responses. 13. Respects your beliefs and opinions. The person who is serious about you is serious about your thoughts and convictions. 14. Is transparent. You’re special to someone who tries hard to never be evasive or secretive. He gives you straight answers. 15. Nurtures your relationship consistently. You know you’re a priority when your partner does everything he/she can to keep your relationship strong and growing.

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Are people with multiple partners happier?

According to a recent study, Americans who have only had sex with their spouse are more likely to say they're “very happy” in their marriages than those who've slept with more partners. The lowest satisfaction is reported by women who've slept with six to 10 partners.

kpcc.org - According to this study, fewer previous sex partners make for a happier ...

According to a recent study, Americans who have only had sex with their spouse are more likely to say they’re “very happy” in their marriages than those who’ve slept with more partners. The lowest satisfaction is reported by women who’ve slept with six to 10 partners. While the study finds correlation between the number of an individual’s sex partners and their reported marital happiness, it does not imply causation, so there’s room to speculate. Perhaps people who choose not to have sex before marriage also value marriage more highly and are therefore more committed. Or perhaps, as pointed out in this Atlantic piece, people who’ve only slept with their spouses are less likely to yearn for what they’re missing, since they have no other experiences with which to compare their marriage.

Have you found this correlation to be true in your life? How has your number of previous sex partners affected your marriage, if at all? If you and your spouse came into the marriage with a disparity in your number of previous sex partners, how has it impacted your relationship?

Guest:

Nick Wolfinger, professor of family consumer studies and adjunct professor of sociology at the University of Utah; he is the author of the study “Does Sexual History Affect Marital Happiness?” which was published by the Institute for Family Studies, a think tank that aims to strengthen marriage; he tweets

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