How do I talk to my child about inappropriate touch?

7 Ways to Talk to Your Child About Good and Bad Touch Teach children “you're the boss of your body” ... Don't force any kind of touch. ... Use the proper words for body parts. ... Keep the right tone. ... Talk about good touch versus bad touch. ... Use simple rules and scripts. ... Keep having the conversation.

healthblog.uofmhealth.org - 7 Ways to Talk to Your Child About Good and Bad Touch - Health Blog

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Parents often tell children about ways to keep themselves safe: Look both ways when you cross the street. Wear seatbelts. Don’t play with matches. But some conversations are more difficult than others. Among them is talking about sexual abuse. And many parents delay talking to their kids about inappropriate touching, according to the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health at Michigan Medicine. Despite expert recommendations to talk about “body safety” during preschool years, less than half of parents of preschoolers say they've begun that discussion. Meanwhile, one in four parents of elementary school age children say they haven’t talked about inappropriate touching. The most common reasons include not getting around to it, the child is too young, not wanting to scare the child and not knowing how to bring it up. But about one in four girls and one in 13 boys experience child sexual abuse at some point in childhood, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This makes it critical that parents have the conversation, says Mott pediatrician Alison Dickson, M.D. “It really depends on your child’s development, but at every stage there are age appropriate ways to talk about body safety,” Dickson says. “Many parents aren’t sure how to navigate the conversation or may feel uncomfortable themselves but there are approaches that don’t have to be scary or too intense.” Dickson shares advice for how parents can equip kids with the tools they need to prevent, confront or respond to attempts of sexual abuse.

1. Teach children “you’re the boss of your body”

Talk about body safety in simple ways kids can understand. This can start as early as age two. “Say ‘this is your body. Let’s think of ways to keep your body healthy and keep your body safe,’” Dickson says. “Or simply label what you are doing in your daily routine. Say, ‘we need to keep your body safe, so we buckle up in the car seat,’ and use the same language when you talk about bike helmets, healthy foods, holding hands to cross the street and so on.” Then, empower them to speak up when a peer or sibling is doing something hurtful, like if a classmate pushes them on the playground. Teach them to say “stop, this is my body and I want to keep it safe” in a firm but polite way.

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“You want to help them have ownership of their own bodies and feel comfortable setting boundaries,” Dickson says.

2. Don’t force any kind of touch

Parents are balancing encouraging social skills with encouraging ownership of one’s body. This is challenging, but it is important that kids see that they are in control. One way is to not coerce affection or any physical contact with anyone – even hugging family members. “Kids will be uncomfortable at different times for different reasons,” Dickson says. “Don’t force them to use their bodies in a way they don’t want to. Give them options.” When your child is shy to greet someone, you model what is comfortable for you and then say, for example, “Aunt Jenny is here! You can give Aunt Jenny a hug or a high five” or “Mr. Library gave you a sticker. You can fist bump him or just wave.”

3. Use the proper words for body parts

Not all parents use correct language for anatomy and sometimes use nicknames instead. But you should use the right names just as you would for elbows, feet or ears. Kids may sense parents’ awkwardness around talking about certain body parts and think it’s something to be ashamed of.

healthblog.uofmhealth.org - 7 Ways to Talk to Your Child About Good and Bad Touch - Health Blog

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