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How do I stop being addicted to falling in love?

According to DeMaria, a therapist can offer support with: uncovering the underlying cause of your preoccupation with love. finding new ways to practice self-love and self-care. addressing unhelpful and unwanted behavior patterns. building up self-esteem, which can promote a healthier approach to future relationships.

healthline.com - Love Addiction: What It Really Means and How to Handle It - Healthline

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Share on Pinterest Alba Vitta/Stocksy Being in love can bring on a rollercoaster of powerful, sometimes even overwhelming, emotions. The rush of excitement, joy, and other positive feelings love can spark may, for some people, kindle the desire to chase after that experience again and again. Sometimes, this is referred to as a “love addiction.” But this so-called “addiction” to love merely refers to a set of behaviors, according to licensed clinical psychologist and psychologist Anthony DeMaria, PhD. There’s no clinical diagnosis of love addiction, DeMaria goes on to explain. This term usually refers to a preoccupation with the feeling of being in love, which might lead someone to seek out love in a way that causes unwanted consequences. What’s wrong with calling this an addiction? Using “addiction” to describe this pattern is problematic for several reasons, explains Emily Simonian, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks. For one, addiction remains stigmatized in society as a whole. Not only that, but substance use disorders can be serious — even life-threatening. Overusing or inappropriately using the word “addiction” can erode the weight and meaning of a true addiction. As such, Simonian suggests “emotional reliance” as a less problematic and more accurate way of describing it. With all that in mind, read on to learn what exactly a reliance or fixation on love might entail, and what steps experts recommend for overcoming it. What are the signs? Experts do recognize that certain patterns of behavior can become problematic, even addictive. To date, the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5)” recognizes gambling disorder and internet gaming disorder as behavioral addictions. Yet since love addiction isn’t an official diagnosis, you won’t find it in the DSM-5. Experts also haven’t established any official criteria or symptoms that characterize this behavior pattern. That said, a few key patterns in your relationship behavior might invite some deeper exploration. If you’ve noticed any of the signs below, it may be worth connecting with a mental health professional for support. Intrusive thoughts It’s typical to find your mind preoccupied with a love interest during the “honeymoon phase,” when you’re first falling for someone, explains Omar Ruiz, licensed therapist and founder of TalkThinkThrive. But if pervasive thoughts about a particular person, or the idea of love in general, start to negatively affect your job, schoolwork, sleep, or any other areas of your life, that may pose some cause for concern. Separation anxiety Missing a partner is very common. But if you feel unbearable distress when they’re not around, Ruiz says that may signal what some call love addiction — an unhealthy fixation, in other words. You may even find yourself avoiding circumstances that would separate you from your love interest, says Gail Saltz, MD, a psychiatrist and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at The NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. For example, you might: skip work

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avoid following through on family commitments Serial monogamy Do you move from relationship to relationship, not out of fear of being alone, but from an overwhelming or insatiable desire to feel loved? DeMaria says that may point to an unhealthy preoccupation. Using love as a tool for avoidance Maybe you find yourself spending a lot of time with the person you love, and you focus on thoughts of them when you can’t be together to avoid painful or unwanted thoughts and feelings. Thinking about a love object as a way of avoiding negative emotions can be a red flag, Ruiz says. Staying with someone, even when it’s unhealthy Even when a relationship becomes potentially toxic or beyond repair, you may make frantic efforts to maintain it, DeMaria says. But these attempts to keep the relationship alive may prove self-defeating. Not every relationship will work out, of course, and sometimes moving on is the best option for you and your continued well-being. Only getting enjoyment out of love or a relationship Do you mostly only feel positive emotions when in love or with a significant other? That could suggest an unhealthy behavior pattern, Simonian says. Maybe you find yourself: no longer enjoying hobbies or activities that used to excite you

centering on your partner or relationship as a reason to live

grappling with feelings of hopelessness when you aren’t with your partner

When to get support If pursuing or maintaining relationships is disrupting your happiness, health, or ability to complete day-to-day responsibilities, Saltz recommends reaching out to a mental health professional. How can therapy help? According to DeMaria, a therapist can offer support with: uncovering the underlying cause of your preoccupation with love

finding new ways to practice self-love and self-care

addressing unhelpful and unwanted behavior patterns

building up self-esteem, which can promote a healthier approach to future relationships Your therapist might recommend different strategies or techniques, depending on what they determine lies behind these relationship behavior patterns. That said, Saltz notes they might commonly use therapy approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). CBT can help address persistent thought patterns driving compulsive behaviors, while DBT can help you learn new strategies for managing and coping with emotional distress instantly and more effectively regulating emotions in the future.

healthline.com - Love Addiction: What It Really Means and How to Handle It - Healthline

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