Photo: Mary Taylor

How do I start letting go?

Tips for letting go Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. ... Create physical distance. ... Do your own work. ... Practice mindfulness. ... Be gentle with yourself. ... Allow the negative emotions to flow. ... Accept that the other person may not apologize. ... Engage in self-care. More items...

healthline.com - How to Let Go: 12 Tips for Letting Go of the Past - Healthline

Can soulmates be married?

As you've guessed, a soulmate is the one person who makes you feel whole. Your soulmate will accept marriage as a means to have you as a part of...

Last updated Jan 22, 2019

At what age do most girls get their first boyfriend?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. Every...

Last updated Oct 7, 2020

Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

Promotion

Holding on to the past can be a conscious decision just like letting go and moving forward can be a conscious decision.

It’s a question many of us ask ourselves each time we experience heartache or emotional pain: how do you let go of past hurts and move on?

One thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain. Experts have found that when emotional pain prevents you from healing from a situation, it’s a sign that we aren’t moving forward in a growth-oriented way. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” we can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories. If you’re trying to move forward from a painful experience, but you’re not sure how to get started, here are 12 tips to help you let go.

1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts

How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”

2. Create physical distance

It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset. According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD, that’s not such a bad idea. “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much,” she explains.

3. Do your own work

Do men fall in love?

Falling in love is a continuous process for both men and women alike. Falling, growing, and staying in love is an incredible experience. When it...

Last updated Mar 24, 2020

How do you know that its love?

When you're in love with someone, you'll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new...

Last updated Apr 12, 2018

Promotion

Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.

4. Practice mindfulness

The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us. “When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,” she adds.

5. Be gentle with yourself

If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Olivera says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others. “Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes,” Olivera explains.

6. Allow the negative emotions to flow

If you’re fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, Durvasula says that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. “These negative emotions are like riptides,” explains Durvasula. “Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck,” she adds.

7. Accept that the other person may not apologize

Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.

8. Engage in self-care

When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. “The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’t feel as overwhelming,” she adds.

At what age are men most handsome?

Men in their 30s are attractive to a wide range of women, from 20-somethings to women in their 40s. When it comes to being attractive to the most...

Last updated Nov 1, 2021

What zodiac signs get well together?

Individuals with their Sun in these two signs are also traditionally "compatible" with yours. Aries: Gemini, Aquarius. Taurus: Cancer, Pisces....

Last updated Apr 16, 2021

Promotion

9. Surround yourself with people who fill you up

This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either, explains Manly. “Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.”

10. Give yourself permission to talk about it

When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it. Durvasula says sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it. “This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or [the person is] embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about it,” she explains. But talking it out is important. That’s why Durvasula recommends finding a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board.

11. Give yourself permission to forgive

Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.

12. Seek professional help

If you’re struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.

healthline.com - How to Let Go: 12 Tips for Letting Go of the Past - Healthline

What can 7 year olds draw?

There are easy drawing ideas for kids of all ages, some easy drawing ideas for seven-year-olds include animals like puppies and kittens, favorite...

Last updated Jun 24, 2018

What part of the brain is the soul?

The pineal gland The pineal gland is a tiny organ in the center of the brain that played an important role in Descartes' philosophy. He regarded it...

Last updated Dec 17, 2021

Promotion

What to do when a girl glances at you?

What Do You Do When A Girl Looks At You Make the decision to look back or not. Give yourself permission to smile. Briefly make eye contact. Use...

Last updated Feb 17, 2018

Promotion

Does love have age limit?

Love and marriage have no age limit. No one knows the definitive age when it is best to say” I do”; however, you should never put an age limit on...

Last updated Feb 11, 2019