Soulmate Gem
Photo: Ketut Subiyanto
Typically, being in love with someone means you want to spend as much time with them as possible. Even if you're busy, you probably find yourself arranging your schedule to see your partner. This might also involve a desire to get to know more about them by exploring their interests.
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Read More »Share on Pinterest Romantic love is a key goal for many people. Whether you’ve been in love before or have yet to fall in love for the first time, you might think of this love as the pinnacle of romantic experiences — perhaps even the pinnacle of life experiences. Falling in love with someone can feel exciting, even exhilarating. But over time, these feelings may settle into something that feels a little different. This love might seem mellow or calm. You might find yourself thinking “I love them” instead of “I’m in love with them.” This transformation doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. Loving someone instead of feeling “in love” with them simply illustrates how feelings of love evolve over the course of a relationship, especially a long-term relationship. What it’s like to be in love Being in love generally refers to those intense feelings that take over at the start of a relationship. These include: infatuation
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Read More »But when something does bother you, you’ll probably feel comfortable enough to speak up about it and work to encourage and support each other through personal growth. This doesn’t include serious red flags or signs of abuse. Always reach out to a professional if abuse is present. Intimacy might require more effort When you fell wildly in love with your partner, you probably had sex all the time. As your relationship stabilizes, you certainly still have sex, but maybe less often or with less intensity. The first time you fall asleep without having sex, or spend a night alone, it might seem like you’ve lost something. You might even worry the relationship is failing. But often this only means the demands of life have made it necessary to plan time with your partner. Sexual activity might happen less often, but the effort you put into connecting intimately can make those moments even better. The relationship takes more work It’s easy to give a relationship your all when you’re head over heels in love. The relationship might seem to progress smoothly, even flawlessly, and the two of you seem to be on the same page about absolutely everything. This isn’t sustainable over time. Eventually you may need to prioritize your partner slightly less to take care of daily life. Spending time together may seem less natural and easy, especially when you’re both busy or tired. But love means you keep trying and make an effort to show you care. You feel deeply connected Loving someone can involve a sense of strong connection and trust. You know your partner well enough to rattle off their likes and dislikes, values, and strengths without a second thought. They’re probably the first person you turn to when feeling down and the first person you want to share your successes and aspirations with. You’re a team. Sometimes you might even feel like a single unit. Is one better than the other? So, you know you love your partner, but you think you may not be in love with them any longer. That’s perfectly all right. In fact, you might even feel a bit relieved to know your hormones have settled down a little. Some people prefer the excitement of being in love. Others prefer the intimate, deep connection associated with long-term love. Many people work toward long-term relationships for this very reason. What you want out of a relationship may make one seem better than the other, but healthy relationships are possible with either. Research does suggest many people seek divorce after falling out of love. But no longer feeling in love doesn’t mean you have to leave your partner or that your relationship is doomed to end. It just means you may need to put in a little extra effort to recharge things.
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Read More »Can you go back to being in love with someone? You might feel sadness or regret if you feel your relationship has lost the “spark” associated with being in love. Maybe you want sex to be more spontaneous, or feel excited about seeing your partner instead of comfortable. Talking to a relationship counselor can help you rekindle the feeling of being in love, but these tips can also help: Maintain an interest in their thoughts and feelings. Don’t forget about everyday check-ins. Ask how their day’s going, making sure you really listen to their response. Don’t forget about everyday check-ins. Ask how their day’s going, making sure you really listen to their response. Prioritize time together, including intimacy. This might mean dipping out of a work event early or taking a rain check on those movie plans with your friend. This might mean dipping out of a work event early or taking a rain check on those movie plans with your friend. Don’t forget maintenance tasks. Think of your relationship as a car you depend on to get to and from work. To keep it going, you’ve got to get regular oil changes, rotate the tires, and so on. Give your relationship regular tune-ups by making a conscious effort to communicate openly and offer affection. These don’t have to be big, over-the-top displays. A kiss to welcome them home can go a long way.
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