Here are three ways marrying your best friend can become your reality. Realize your relationship and your love grows over time. ... Be the friend you want your wife to be. ... Focus on the intimacy in your marriage.
The dream for many people is to marry their best friend. That’s the fairy tale marriage, one that brings together best friends in holy matrimony. The old adage is to be friends first before becoming lovers. And that successful marriages are built on friendship.
You may have heard people talk how they married their best friend, or you may even give that advice. Well, I didn’t marry my best friend, and I’d like to argue that very few people do. When my wife and I were married, we were friends but not best friends. In fact, we were probably better friends before our relationship got serious. The dynamic changed some, but I’m happy to say eventually our friendship was restored. Here are three ways marrying your best friend can become your reality.
Realize your relationship and your love grows over time
My wife and I had the pleasure and privilege of interviewing Mark and Susan (Merrill) for our 7 Rings of Marriage web show. Mark said something simple yet profound during our chat. He said, “Love grows over time.” Meaning your relationship and the way you interact with your spouse today will differ than the way you interact and love your spouse five or ten years from now. Through time, you’ll experience many changes to your relationship. However,just like a plant that is watered and nurtured grows, your love for one another will also grow.
Be the friend you want your wife to be
More often than not, what you give in marriage is what you will receive in return.When we teach our kids how to meet new people and develop friendships, we tell them to be friendly. If you are friendly then you will attract other people who are friendly as well. The same principle applies to our marriages. More often than not, what you give in marriage is what you will receive in return.
If we want to be married to our best friend, we need to be the friend we want our wives to be. If we want our wives to listen to us, then we should listen to them. If we want our wives to put our needs first, then we should put their needs first. The list goes on and on. Having a great friendship in marriage starts with us first being the friend we want in our wives.
Focus on the intimacy in your marriage
Most couples really don’t know each other all that much when they first get married. I’ve heard it put this way. When you are dating, you are dating not each other, you are dating each other’s representative. Our “representatives” portray us in our best light — showing our good qualities, looks, and character traits. Our representatives work the few hours we spend together then in marriage we spend all day and every night together—when our “representatives” are not on duty. Finally, the representatives are no longer needed. That’s when all our glory is revealed. We share intimate things we’ve never shared with anyone else.
The more intimate moments we share, moments and things we don’t share with anyone else, the better we know one another. Then our friendship is tested and we have the opportunity to really know and love one another.
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One common thing to happen between friends is a kiss. Kisses are normal when people have intimate feelings for one another or are just excited and in the mood for physical contact. Sometimes kisses might happen because we are emotional for some reason and just act on our feelings without thinking.
This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis . Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist. This article has been viewed 320,290 times.
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Kissing a friend can be exciting if you’ve developed feelings for each other, but sometimes it can make things awkward between you. If you want to stay just friends after a kiss, you may need to take a break from your friend for a while to process your feelings. When you’re ready, talk to them about the kiss and express your feelings and concerns. Say something like, “Our friendship means a lot to me. I hope what happened hasn’t hurt things between us.” If possible, come to an agreement with your friend about how to move forward. For example, you might agree not to kiss again, or promise each other not to tell your other friends what happened. Keep having open conversations with your friend if you still feel confused. It may take a while to work through things together, and that’s okay. Spend time with your friend and do the same kinds of activities you did together before the kiss. If you stick to your routines and keep things relaxed between you, the awkwardness should start to pass. For tips on how to avoid feeling jealous following your kiss, read on!
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