Does true love have a spark?

True love doesn't need a spark to last forever. It needs people who choose love when the feelings come and go – when emotions fade, and the seasons change. True love burns slowly, but it burns brightly – and unlike the spark, it takes a lot to put it out.

thoughtcatalog.com - True Love Doesn't Need A 'Spark' To Be Real | Thought Catalog

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Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

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Chemistry.

We think it’s the prerequisite to lasting love. Without it we’re nothing more than roommates, moving peripherally through one another’s lives. We chase the “spark”: that elusive glimmer of attraction which, if shared, could lead to forever.

But love doesn’t need a spark to begin.

Relationships based on attraction are a cultural norm. We are drawn together like magnets, seeking physical fulfillment or the thrill of mystery. We think chasing attraction is the way to lasting love; that if we get that part right, everything else will fall into place.

We’ve got it all backwards.

Chemistry isn’t a prerequisite to love; it’s the product of love. True love is the staying power that makes attraction so strong. The magnetism of attraction increases as intimacy deepens; as our hearts – less our bodies – are bound together by common experience and time. The spark is a part of love, but it’s not the cause of it. Chasing the spark defeats our relationships. We move from person to person, eager for that “feeling” but unwilling to commit. We don’t understand what love really is so we keep failing at it. We’re emotional thrill seekers, trying to gauge forever by the most unreliable of means. We can fix this. We can know lasting love. But we have to stop chasing a feeling and embrace what love really is. Love is the one who stays when no one else will. Love answers the late night call and listens on the line. Love is the shoulder you cry on and the arm around your pain. Love is the slow burn of friendship and faithfulness, a fire unquenched by distance or time apart. Love is less “the spark” and more the ember: ever burning under the surface, ready to burst into flame once you recognize its potential. True love doesn’t need a spark to last forever. It needs people who choose love when the feelings come and go – when emotions fade, and the seasons change. True love burns slowly, but it burns brightly – and unlike the spark, it takes a lot to put it out.

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Do I love her or am I just lonely?

Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don't find yourself missing the person when you're busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely.

wikihow.com - 3 Ways to Know if You Like Someone or if You're Just Lonely - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan . Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 1,503,582 times.

Article Summary

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Sometimes it can be hard to figure out whether you actually like someone or if you’re just feeling a little lonely. To try to tell the difference, see if you’re attracted to them by observing whether you think about them all the time and whether you’re excited to get to know them more. If you don’t feel these things, then you might not actually like that person. Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don’t find yourself missing the person when you’re busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely. For more advice from our Relationship co-author, including how to avoid a rebound relationship, read on!

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