Photo: Anete Lusina

Does sleeping with someone create a bond?

Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.

businessinsider.com - This Is What Happens to Your Brain After Sex - Business Insider

How fast does it take for a girl to fall in love?

The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite...

Last updated May 18, 2022

How old were brides in the 1800s?

At the end of the 18th century, the average age of first marriage was 28 years old for men and 26 years old for women. During the 19th century, the...

Last updated Aug 10, 2019

Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

Promotion

It's possible to feel a sense of attachment after having sex with someone you weren't really that interested in. Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone. Ever since I started making out, fooling around and having sex with other people when I was in my teens, a hot topic of conversation among me and girlfriends was feelings of attachment after we'd had a great, passionate session with a potential partner.

I've had — and heard of — experiences from women who really weren't that into someone or weren't sure how they were feeling, then after having sex with them felt a strong sense of attachment. There are times we can confuse feelings of like, lust or love — I mean, it all feels good. But what is happening in our brains when we are physical with another person that causes this shift? And does that feeling last?

We asked a few experts who let us know the real reason you may be feeling more attached, attracted or "in love" with someone after you've had a sexual interaction.

Blame it on the hormones

When we are intimate with someone, oxytocin, also known as the "love hormone" is released into the body "during intercourse and other forms of intimacy," Dr. Sal Raichbach, a psychologist and licensed clinical social worker, tells SheKnows, adding that oxytocin is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust and loyalty." It's only natural we associate those good feelings with the person we shared them with and we are left wanting more of them. This may be why we start thinking of someone more after we share a passionate time with them, even if it was quick— we want more of that feeling.

Feelings of attachment are not from sex alone

The good news is that it doesn't take penis-in-vagina intercourse to produce oxytocin. "Oxytocin is released in a variety of activities, from seeing our dog to getting or giving a massage, playing team sports, giving birth or seeing the color blue," Dr. Lauren Brim, sex educator and author of "The New Rules of Sex," tells SheKnows. Brim goes on to explain that a strong bond between two people or feelings of attachment for one person can happen during other kinds of intimacy as well, "which is why we can feel like we've fallen in love with someone we've only ever spoken with once," she says.

Intimacy is where it's at

Why do guys fall asleep after they come?

In addition to prolactin, oxytocin and vasopressin are also released during the male orgasm. These chemicals typically are accompanied by...

Last updated Jan 17, 2021

Why do some married couples not wear their wedding rings?

Maybe you work with your hands and wearing a ring just isn't practical. Or maybe you simply like breaking tradition and don't believe you need to...

Last updated Feb 5, 2018

Promotion

Alloy Entertainment

It's also important to remember that having sex under any condition will not automatically release oxytocin or make you feel connected to your partner. For example, Brim points out victims of sexual assault don't have feelings of attachment for their abusers nor can having regular sex in an unhappy marriage "fix" the relationship or make you fall in love again. While sex can deepen an existing bond between two people, the thing that makes us feel attached is the "intimacy of the experience and the innate chemistry of the partners," she says. Things like looking into each other's eyes, or sharing personal stories with another, can create the same type of bond. "As social creatures, we are designed to bond through a variety of activities, but the sex often creates a sense that we should form a relationship with the person because society has designated that as part of our social sexual script," Brim adds. Brim also notes that people are responding to sex the way we've been conditioned to respond, "so, if we’re told a story that men were needy after sex and women were the sexually promiscuous ones, then that would be the reality," which may very well be why some women think they are more attached or have developed deeper feelings for someone after they have had sexual intercourse. Perhaps the next time you are wondering if you are in love or even have feelings for someone after being intimate with them, ask yourself if you just liked the experience and the feelings you had when you were having sex (including when you were kissing and touching) or if you think you experienced a type of intimacy on a different level and are experiencing deeper feeling for other reasons. Like most things in life, there is no instant formula for having feelings for someone — with or without having sex. But keeping things in mind like the effect of hormones may help to explain why you suddenly become really into someone after being intimate.

Sign up here to get INSIDER's favorite stories straight to your inbox.

businessinsider.com - This Is What Happens to Your Brain After Sex - Business Insider

What is the main purpose of marriage?

Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you...

Last updated Jul 9, 2018

Is the heart still beating after death?

If brain death is confirmed, why does an individual's heart continue beating? As long as the heart has oxygen, it can continue to work. The...

Last updated Jul 11, 2022

Promotion

How do you kiss without being bitten?

If you and your partner both feel comfortable doing more, go for it! Pay attention to body language. ... Gradually increase the intensity. ... Make...

Last updated Aug 8, 2018

Promotion

Which country has no marriage?

The Mosuo people of south west China do not marry and fathers do not live with, or support, children. Nov 20, 2013

Last updated Apr 26, 2018