Soulmate Gem
Photo: Mikhail Nilov
Dealing with heartbreak is hard, and it can make falling in love for the second time feel much scarier than it was the first time around. Fortunately, though, your second love is often healthier, and you're likely happier having learned valuable lessons from your first romantic experience.
Kissing triggers your brain to release a cocktail of chemicals that leave you feeling oh so good by igniting the pleasure centers of the brain....
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Top 5 Female Zodiac Signs That Make The Best Wives? CANCER (June 21 - July 22) Loyal like no one. A woman born under this sign is best at loyalty....
Read More »Falling in love for the first time is exhilarating and terrifying all at once. It's such a rush that it often feels short-lived. Whether you remember your first love fondly or with some regrets, chances are you learned a few lessons from the person who initially stole your heart. Dealing with heartbreak is hard, and it can make falling in love for the second time feel much scarier than it was the first time around. Fortunately, though, your second love is often healthier, and you're likely happier having learned valuable lessons from your first romantic experience. "A lot of people feel that if it's not love at first sight or you don't feel how you felt the first time you fell in love, then it will not work," says Brooke Wise, CEO of Wise Matchmaking. "I have seen couples who know right away that this is the person they are meant to be with, and then I have seen couples where it takes longer for the relationship to blossom. It's hard not to compare relationships past, present, and future, but remember that no two loves are the same." There are many ways that falling in love for a second time feels different — and potentially better — than the first. Like Wise says, "Our hearts are resilient and you are meant to love again." Here, three experts and three young women share their honest thoughts on the differences, based on their very real experiences. 01 Rather Than Falling Hard And Fast, You Fall Gradually (And Maybe Even More Deeply) Stocksy/Leah Flores "Oftentimes with your first love, you may fall hard and fast — love at first sight. It can be a product of age, environment, stage of life, or never having [experienced] this indescribable feeling before. It may be intoxicating, captivating; it takes your breath away and sweeps you off of your feet," says Wise. "The second time around, your feelings may be a bit slower to develop ... You are not so innocent, as you have been in love before and felt all the emotions that go along with it. You are a bit more protective, want to make sure the relationship could work long-term, and you don't want to repeat past mistakes." While falling in love for a second time might feel different, that doesn't mean that you are any less in love than you were the first time around. In fact, Wise says, "If you are taking your time and moving slower, it may feel more secure and more real as you are trying to evaluate if this person has long-term potential. This is different than your pure first love, where you may have fallen hard, very quickly and then asked questions later." 02 You're More Sure Of What You Want And Need Stocksy/Guille Faingold I've fallen in love twice. Personally, I didn't feel as if one was more exciting than the other — they were exciting in different ways. The first time around, I was 18 and everything about the process of falling in love was so new to me. Part of the fun was figuring out if the jitters, the emotions, and the giddiness was actually love or just an intense crush. The second time around, I was 24. I had been single for a few years and wasn't sure if I'd ever feel so strongly about a person again, so I was really pleasantly surprised to discover that I did! For me, the biggest difference was that the second time it happened, I felt more sure of myself. By that point, I had six more years of experience with dating and relationships, and I was more confident when it came to identifying what I was feeling. (I also think that my second relationship is far more mature, stable, and satisfying than my first, but that doesn't mean you can't experience that the first time around — I just didn't.) — Hannah, 25
"Your biological stress system is actually activated when you have your first kiss," Seiter says. "But, this doesn't mean you're stressed out....
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남친 (namchin) is short for 남자 친구 (namja chingu) which means boyfriend.
Read More »03 You're Older And Wiser Stocksy/Michelle Edmonds I was in love with my high school crush, and in love with my first boyfriend. The first time [in high school], it was more childish. It didn't feel real until I fell in love with my boyfriend. The feelings were similar, like I didn't want to fall asleep because I was talking to him, or I would blush every time he would stare at me. He felt the same way, but we never told each other, so we never dated. That's the main difference. With [my first boyfriend] the feelings were the same, but he did reciprocate. I [have since] learned to be more vocal, to express those feelings. I still feel [my high school crush] is the one that got away. With both guys, I was young, [but] now I'm more mature and more secure. — Piper*, 23 04 You Know That There Is A Very Real Possibility Of Heartbreak Stocksy/Studio Firma "The first time around, falling in love is pure joyful optimism. It's rainbows and butterflies and everything rom-coms have taught us. While falling in love for the second time is still wonderful, it can feel much scarier because you know what's really at risk and you have an understanding of the pain that comes with a relationship ending," says Kat Haselkorn, matchmaker at Three Day Rule. "The second time around is just as beautiful (if not more so), but it certainly comes tinged with vulnerability and even some fear." Falling in love with someone new can feel more real, because in some ways, there is more at stake than with your first love. "You're more vulnerable this time around. You know what the hurt can feel like and yet you're still willing to suffer those consequences on behalf of loving another person," says Haselkorn. "It's almost like, the more knowledge you have going into it, the deeper your love really is." 05 You Make An Effort To Establish Healthier Patterns Stocksy/Nabi Tang I feel like [falling in love for the second time] feels pretty similar [to the first], but you approach it in a healthier way every time. The first time I believe I was in love was when I was 15. And true to all the stereotypes of young love, I was obsessed with my girlfriend, and thought we would be together a long time, and thought the world would end if we broke up. And to be fair, it was crazy hard when we broke up. But I got over it eventually. So I feel like falling in love again after that ... starts out with you in such a different place, because you know that this likely won't last forever. But you also know you will be OK if it doesn't. For me, all of the falling in love feelings in my brain and my stomach were pretty much the same. There is still definitely a feeling of obsession. But you just approach the whole thing with a little more confidence that this is not the most important thing to ever happen to you. — Brianna, 25
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